I hate the beach but a £13 trip to one of the UK’s ‘worst seaside towns’ changed my mind

As the second of three pigeons landed on my hotel room bed, having already desecrated the admittedly lovely room with poo and feathers, it began to dawn on me that maybe, when it came to seaside locations, I might genuinely be cursed. 

What sins had I committed in a past life that meant every time I ventured in pursuit of that classic British tradition of sea, sand, ice cream, chips and funfairs, a combination of ill-fortune and crazed birds seemed to follow me?

But before I delve into my Hitchcockian history with the seaside, some context: I was a few days into a midsummer visit to Great Yarmouth, an occasionally overlooked jewel in the crown of English seaside locations, sometimes neglected due to the glamour of bigger names like Brighton or Bournemouth.

I’ll admit in advance I was sceptical. After all, just this year, Which? named Great Yarmouth one of the worst seaside towns to visit, being rated poorly by visitors, along with the likes of Blackpool and Skegness, and receiving an overall destination score of just 51%.

I also don’t have a great history with coastal trips – despite being from a seaside town myself. Well, sort of. I was brought in Gourock on the banks of the River Clyde in Scotland. But despite having a highly-rated outdoor pool, it was never thought of as the seaside destination. 

In Glasgow and the surrounding areas – that title goes to Largs, down the road – and it was a fateful visit there that I first developed a borderline phobia of trips to the coast. 

In a single day in 2009, I lost my job, decided to take a trip to Largs to unwind, and within the space of an hour, I’d been attacked by seagulls to the point they had drawn blood, and had also been in a minor car crash that gave me whiplash and meant I missed out on seeing Bruce Springsteen.

They do say it comes in threes!

And so when an invite from Visit Great Yarmouth arrived offering the chance to enjoy all the charms of the East Coast location, I decided to indulge in a bit of immersion therapy and try to shake off the hoodoo of previous misadventures by the sea. 

And that’s how, bird-based hotel room chaos aside, I managed to spend the better part of a week basking in the Norfolk sunshine and soaking up the charm that Great Yarmouth has to offer. 

My friend Ryan and I arrived and immediately decamped to the Prom Hotel, where views simply couldn’t have been better – the rustic charm of the fair looming large from one window, while from another, the golden sands of the beach and the vast expanse of the North Sea unfurled in front of you. 

That same North Sea vista also featured prominently at our first meal of the evening, at the Imperial Hotel, a short walk down the promenade.

Frankly, with the way their terrace restaurant looked out towards the sea, they could have served us anything and we would have still asked for seconds, but luckily the steak was as much of a delight on the taste buds as the view was on the eyes. 

We had decided to bookend the more traditional seaside activities (of which, more later) with two slightly different excursions, so our second day of fun started a few miles inland, north of Great Yarmouth in the small village of Martham – where we hired a boat to take out on the Norfolk broads. 

These boats, while large and powerful, are very much built for comfort rather than speed, and there’s certainly something to be said for appreciating the slower pace of life as you amble through the famous waterways of the broads at a clip of around 5 miles per hour. 

Ryan and I took it in turns to steer, one at the wheel while the other enjoyed soaking up the sun and feeling like a genuine sailor by waving at bemused passers-by. 

After a few pints in Martham and a coastal bus home, we were hit with the only major snag of the holiday, that trio of pigeons who had sneaked in.

Luckily some fluttering wings weren’t enough to deter two hardy Scotsmen, and I resent the rumours that Ryan and I simply cowered in fear as the far braver hotel staff removed our feathered friends.

Having explored the broads and the less traditional side of Yarmouth, we decided over the next two days to really throw ourselves into the trademarks of a classic British seaside holiday. 

To that end, we spent the next morning in the Sea Life centre, which might not have the profile of some of the big city locations, but still has enough sharks, exotic fish, and even penguins to keep kids, and big kids, entertained. 

From there, it was off to lunch at Sara’s Tea Rooms, a proper old-fashioned cafe on the sea-front, which served as something of a clubhouse to the ‘Pirates Cove Adventure Golf’, a crazy golf course which, as the name suggests, is nautical themed with genuine water features. 

A similar theme emerged on our third day, when we set aside the day to visit the adrenaline-drenched jewel in Great Yarmouth’s crown – the Pleasure Beach. 

There are various types of rides there, traditional roller coasters, spinning-rides, and the inevitable ‘drop zones’. 

But the ‘Ghost Ship’ was our personal highlight, a pendulum style ride which rose just high enough to give you a panorama of the sea front before gravity brought you hurtling back towards the ground. 

And ghosts dominate proceedings at the upcoming ‘Fairground Frights’ , a Halloween themed week of entertainment in October, with all the usual thrills and spills augmented by costumed actors, spookier rides, and scary mazes. 

While my visit was in June, I was struck by how year-round things feel, and how places like Great Yarmouth can change with the seasons, even if the obvious appeal of sun and sand might make you assume it is a summer-only destination. 

It was around the time of my third ice-cream that I started to think that I’d given seaside towns a bad rep. 

There have been reams of column inches written about their apparent demise, but after spending a few days strolling up and down the pier, with the senses pleasantly assaulted by trilling arcade machines and wafts of fish and chip vapours, it seems it is very much business as usual in Great Yarmouth. 

For our final activity, Ryan and I decided to venture away from the sea slightly again on a trip to Great Yarmouth race course. 

Having attended a number of events at Ayr Racecourse back in Scotland, it reminded us very much of that – big enough that it feels like you’ve had a proper day at the races, but small enough that you don’t feel overwhelmed and there’s still a friendly atmosphere. 

And if you think my luck at the seaside had changed  – I’ve the losing bet slip to prove it wasn’t all roses. 

So while I’ll always be wary and looking skywards whenever I venture to a coastal town, Great Yarmouth really has changed my view on seaside towns – it had more variety than I was expecting, and a sense of adaptability that nicely accentuates its old-fashioned charm.

I’ll certainly be back. I’ll just watch out for the pigeons. 

This visit was organised by Visit Great Yarmouth. Ross and Ryan stayed at the Prom Hotel, where prices start at £125 for bed and breakfast.  

Trains from London via Norwich with Greater Anglia start at £13 one way.

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