Phillip Schofield broke down in tears during his desert island TV show as he revealed how close he came to ending his life after leaving This Morning.
The former ITV hos t reflected on the “dark” period of his life and shared how his daughters helped pull him “back from the edge” as he prepares to return to TV on Channel 5 next week. Fighting back tears, he said: “In the last 18 months, it got as dark as it is possible to get.”
He continued: “A year ago, I came so, so close. I had everything in place, everything was ready, and it was my daughter Molly who was looking after me. Molly and Ruby [his daughters] both were, and Molly said, ‘Can you imagine what this would do to us if you actually managed to pull this off?’ That was enough to make me step back from the edge.”
Schofield, 62, revealed he could have been hospitalised during that difficult time but opted to return to the family home instead, fearing the news of his hospitalisation would leak.
Coming out as gay in February 2020, Schofield admitted on the desert island that the experience, while liberating for many, brought him more “anguish than joy” because of the emotional fallout. “I’m proud of what I did, but doing it later in life has caused more pain than relief. I’m fully aware of the damage it leaves behind,” he explained.
His daughter Molly also reflected on the impact of Schofield’s coming out, saying: “It was very hard for me, and for the whole family. Especially for my mum. But we worked through it, and it got easier.”
In the show, Phillip Schofield: Cast Away, Schofield is seen having a BBQ lunch with his family, including wife Stephanie and his daughters, before heading off to a tropical island off the coast of Madagascar. Despite the fallout from his “unwise, but not illegal” affair with a junior male staff member at This Morning, Schofield and his family appear close again.
At the table, Schofield cheekily mocked his former co-host Holly Willoughby by saying, “If you’re okay, then we’re okay, and I’m okay. Are you okay?”—a reference to Willoughby’s statement after Schofield’s exit from the show.
Schofield, who suggested he would never work for ITV again, acknowledged that he’s been tipped for I’m a Celebrity. “Although my best mates host it, there are some channels and some people you just won’t work for,” he said.
The show also includes input from his wife Stephanie, who has remained by his side. She stated: “What people don’t realize is the toll it takes on others. By doing this, Phillip is putting his head back above the parapet, and it will inevitably bring out the horrid few.”
Daughter Molly expressed that everything the family has been through has brought them closer. “We’ve seen him at his lowest, but I’m so proud of him. It’s heartbreaking to see the love people had for him taken away,” she said. Schofield, still wearing his wedding ring, reflected on his family’s support, saying, “Without them, I wouldn’t be here. Their love never wavered.”
In the first episode, Schofield is asked why he’s chosen to face the challenge of surviving alone on a desert island. He responds, “I think there’d be a lot of people who hope I never come back.” As footage from his career—including This Morning moments with Willoughby—flashes across the screen, Schofield wonders if the “ultimate isolation” can “set me free” or if he’ll be “consumed by my inner demons.”
Schofield reflected on his career and the abrupt end to his time on This Morning, describing it as “like the biggest grenade going off in your life.” He admitted, “I let people down, I let myself down. It was unwise and unprofessional, and I will be forever sorry.”
On the island, he struggled to catch fish but managed to survive on crustaceans and fruit. At one point, he said, “Every day I feel my toxicity tanks emptying out,” though he added, “When you throw someone under the bus, you’ve got to have a really bloody good reason to do it.”
Phillip Schofield: Cast Away begins at 9pm on Monday on Channel 5, and will continue on Tuesday and Wednesday at the same time.