A ‘stupid’ accident stole my son’s life but he died a hero

In 2019, Josh Chapman was enjoying life as a new dad to baby daughter, Harper-Mae.

Then 24-years-old, he was a happy-go-lucky guy, who had a large group of friends, and a loving partner of nine years, Emma.

Despite struggling at school with ADHD and dyslexia, Josh had been the class clown, and became known for his big personality – and even bigger heart.

Mum, Lisa, 56, describes him as ‘loud and charming, with a real eye for detail.’

‘He was captain chaos,’ Lisa laughs. ‘So loud, so funny, he just had the biggest, biggest smile – which meant he got away with so much.

‘Even when you knew he wasn’t telling the truth, he’d just smile at you and you just melted. He was a cheeky chappy.’

But his family also describe his soft, caring side, and Lisa adds: ‘He said being Harper’s dad was the greatest thing he had ever achieved.

‘He used to sing to her, and play with her. He’d tell me he’d never felt love like it.’

But that summer, everything changed. On the way home from a wedding, the family were together in the car.

Lisa says: ‘Typical Josh, he was having such a good time, he didn’t want it to end. He wanted us all to go back.

‘And so we’d pulled out the venue and was on the dual carriageway, and he was really, really not happy, and quite vocal.

‘And then, he opened the door of the car to get out, and fell.’

Lisa describes the incident as a ‘stupid, stupid mistake.’ The family went into panic mode, seeing Josh on the floor in a pool of blood, and called an ambulance.

‘They got him in the back of ambulance, and I could see he was being sick,’ says Lisa. ‘I remember thinking, “that God for that”‘.

At first, everyone hoped that Josh would pull through, and paramedics had been positive. But at Stoke Hospital, doctors delivered devastating news.

‘This doctor came to see us,’ says Lisa. ‘He said Josh had been for an MRI and he’d severed his brain stem. He’s non responsive. Then he said: “In my experience, he won’t wake up”.

‘Everything just caved in on me. I came round to hear this howling noise and then I realised it was me. I was on the floor.’

At first the family didn’t want to believe the doctor, but slowly the news sunk in. They called Josh’s friends to say goodbye. Loved ones spent their time with Josh, holding his hand as he lay in a coma.

It was at this point that an organ donation nurse came in to speak to them. While in hospital, Josh’ family were told he’d signed up to be an organ donor.

Lisa, from Lichfield, remembers her son mentioning it. She says: ‘It was one of those flippant “they can have everything” type of remarks, but we never sat down as a family to talk about what we meant.

‘Throughout his life, Josh had always tried to make people laugh – we were surprised to hear he’d taken organ donation so seriously.’

‘The nurse told us Josh had actually signed up twice, so we knew it was definitely what he wanted to do.

‘It felt a lot to take in at that time, and some family members were unsure to begin with.

‘But I thought, if someone came to us and said we can get you a brain stem to keep Josh alive, we would have tried anything.

‘Josh was always very matter-of-fact and we knew he’d made his choice, but it’s a very conflicting emotion. I almost didn’t want him touched.

‘But ultimately, it wasn’t our choice, it’s what Josh wanted to do. The last thing we could do for him was to follow his wishes.’

Prior to Josh’s surgery, Lisa spent time with her son. ‘The medical team also grant every donor patient a minutes silence to show respect for what they’re doing,’ says Lisa.

Josh died on Tuesday, August 19th, 2019. In a letter to the family afterwards, they were given an outline of who had received the organs, what their illnesses were and what ‘gifts’ they had been given. Six people received his organs.

In the order of service at his funeral, Lisa included the link to the organ donor page.

Weeks after, Lisa and her family received letters from two of the recipients of Josh’s organs, Adam and Alex.

Adam’s wife and three children almost lost their husband and father, but after receiving Josh’s liver he was able to recover. Lisa says, ‘When we received the first letter, from Adam, who recieved Josh’s liver, it really blew us away.

‘He explained that, as we were being told there was no hope, his family, who were gathered around their dying loved one, were told a transplant could happen.

‘Although we didn’t get our miracle, Josh could give someone else theirs. I felt so proud of him.

‘It was such an overwhelming thing to lose someone I’d loved so much, but to know he’d given life to so many people.’

The family also recieved a letter from a young man called Alex, who received Josh’s pancreas and one of his kidneys.

Lisa takes comfort from the fact that her son can be remembered as a hero, who gave life to other people, rather than the way he died.

Now, Harper, who is now five, is learning about her dad. She was only six months old when Josh died, and now she watches home videos of Josh singing to her while she giggles.

Lisa says, ‘Harper’s the double of him, in every way. Everything is him, her personality, sass, the things she says, it’s like he’s here still. Which is wonderful, but quite difficult sometimes.

‘I’ve kept both letters for Harper’s memory box so she can read them one day.’

And, Lisa and her family keep Josh in their minds constantly.

‘Every year, Josh’s friends hold a pub crawl on his birthday, they call it the Tour de Chappy, as a way to remember him,’ she says.

‘Sweet Caroline was the song we chose to leave the church for at Josh’s funeral, so we play that at every occasion we all get together. He was the most colourful character, so we always make sure his grave is covered in colour.

‘And he loved Christmas, so we send balloons off every year.

‘Josh would have been 30 this year – which is poignant, as it’s also 30 years since the creation of the organ donor register.

Now, Lisa and Emma have made it their mission to encourage others to join the register. In the UK, all adults are considered potential organ donors. However people can register their decision to donate online, clarifying their intention and what organs they wish to donate. Likewise, people can opt-out of donating.

‘Her dad’s not remembered for making a stupid, stupid mistake, but is actually remembered for the good he did for others,’ says Lisa.

Emma had been with Josh for nine years before his death. She describes him as a ‘great dad’ and adds: ‘Losing Josh was and still is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. ‘However I am so proud that he signed the Organ Donation register.

‘He was able to give the gift of life and I really hope his story inspires others to join the register and make a difference to people’s lives.

‘For that I will always be proud of Josh.’

Lisa is raising funds for University Hospital Birmingham Charity. To donate visit their GoFundMe.

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