A man is facing a wave of support after he openly refused to buy his wife a ‘push present’, an action which sparked a significant argument between the couple.
Expectant parents typically ensure they’re fully prepared before welcoming their bundle of joy, acquiring everything from babygrows to nappies often with a little help from generous friends and relatives.
However, there’s been growing attention on the mothers who carry their child for nine months and undergo substantial bodily changes. It seems only fair they receive a gesture of appreciation for their efforts, thus birthing the idea of a ‘push present‘ a specially chosen gift to commend new mums for their marathon labour to bring forth life.
Although most mums would say the arrival of their child is reward enough, this concept of push presents has taken off in recent years, particularly demonstrated by a surge of posts on social media showing lavish gifts received by new mothers.
In a plea for advice on Reddit, an unnamed man disclosed details of the spat with his spouse. The pair have been united for five years and are on the brink of greeting their first child into the world.
Detailing his ordeal, he penned: “Few days ago, she sends me a TikTok video of a woman over one of those extremist podcasts talking about deserving some kind of a ‘push present’. At first I didn’t even know what that meant. But when I looked it up, it’s basically a thank you gift to the woman who brought your child in the world.”
The man expressed his discomfort with the trend, stating that while he understood his wife’s desire to feel valued, the materialistic aspect of it made him uncomfortable.
He elaborated: “The woman on the TikTok went on and on about how it’s a ‘body for a body’ which meant the man would have to get a permanent tattoo on his lower body, give her a house and a car as a gift exclusively to her.”
The soon-to-be dad felt these expectations were “very entitled, honestly a little vindictive, and very over the top”. He added: “The decision to bring a child in the world is both partner’s decision. My wife in our case is not forced to be a mom or be pregnant, as she wants to be a parent too.”
“I simply replied to the TikTok with laughing emojis and moved on, thinking it was the end of it and probably thought she meant to send that TikTok as a satire, like: ‘oh look how dumb this woman is, thinking she deserves all that’.”
However, he soon realised his wife wasn’t joking. He continued: “She was in the other room when I reacted to the video, so she comes to me and tells me that she doesn’t expect a tattoo and a house exclusively for her, but she wants me to dip into my personal savings to get her a car exclusively for her.”
“I thought she was joking, and I pressed her if she was actually serious, she got very annoyed that I thought she was joking and probably imitating the entitled woman on the reel and she flatly said that she expected a real push present.”
Stunned, the man recounted how he responded to his wife by saying that her gift was the “gift of parenthood and a healthy baby”. He also mentioned that he had plans for a Mother’s Day card and some pricey jewellery but nothing beyond that.
He continued: “I said if she really wants an extra car, it’ll be ‘OUR’ car, not just hers. She pressed more and said how it isn’t enough for what she will go through. She kept pushing and pushing and asked me if I think she’s not worthy enough.”
“I told her she is worthy as my partner and the mother of my child, but she has to be realistic and realise that none of us, individually speaking, is worthy of what she’s asking for. That she has to manage her expectations because I don’t see why she feels she deserves that.”
The conversation did not end well, with the wife breaking down in tears and now giving her husband the silent treatment.
He concluded: “I heard her criticising me to her sister on the phone but under no circumstances would I ever considering gifting HER a car. I feel bad she is hurting right now but I don’t feel bad for giving her a reality check.”
Reddit users reading the post were firmly in the husband’s corner, applauding him for his stance. One user responded: ” Influencers are literally ruining people. My present after successful deliveries was my husband knowing that he’s a rotten cook, so he bought groceries and enlisted our loved ones to fill our freezer with heat and eat meals. He also chopped ingredients for them and cleaned up their kitchens. He started this project about a month before the due date of our firstborn, skipping his gym time so that it was a very sweet surprise.”
Another individual chimed in: “Both of my ‘push presents’ were pendants with the kids’ birthstones and I didn’t even ask for it (though they are very much cherished). The world is becoming weird with all of these excessive expectations.”
A third user shared their experience: “I had hyperemesis gravidarum (severe nausea) that went away almost instantly. My push present was my husband getting me a bag of Arby’s beef and cheddar sandwiches and sneaking it into the hospital after visiting hours. I was starving and cried while I ate it!”
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