People are sharing their exes’ voice notes with millions of strangers. Why?

‘Just because I followed her and liked every single one of her Instagram posts doesn’t mean I want her. I was just trying to show my sign of friendship. Ever heard of friends?’

When TikToker Ariella’s ex-boyfriend sent her this angry message, he had no clue what would happen next.

While it was probably sent with the intention of being for her ears only, the reality is, his words have since been heard more than 17 million times – after Ariella decided to upload a TikTok video of her lip syncing to the message.

The video is currently just one of thousands being shared as part of a viral TikTok trend, where people mimick exes voice notes.

Alongside posts like Ariella’s, you can find TikToker Maci Jane laughing as she shares a recording of her ex crying, which has hit nearly five million views since it was uploaded three months ago. Meanwhile, Alize Rodriguez, who has over 800,000 likes on her profile, has also piled on the trend and lip syncs to the sound of her ex trying to convince her they were together at a certain point.

‘I don’t care if we’re together or not together,’ the voice in her video says, as she nods along and wags her finger at the camera. ‘In my mind, we’re together, so we’re together, so it doesn’t matter, in my mind, you were never single.’

Another social media user know as Iris, has seen one of her posts reach nearly 1.4 million views after she shared a voice note of her ex whispering: ‘I swear when I f**ked her, I did it because she looked just like you. I though it was you and I thought of you until I finished. Baby, please unblock me.’

While there’s no doubt there’s an appetite for such content, it does also beg the question: why?

Privacy is dead

For example, when it comes to loud breakups, the most notable is influencer Brooke Schoefield’s multi-part series dragging her ex-boyfriend Clinton Kane back in June.

The 14 videos posted in the span of a single evening hit a total of 89 million views, with Brooke, a successful podcaster, accusing her ex of lying about the death of his mother and brother, and faking an Australian accent among other things.

Then came the trauma salad trend, where friends revealed their worst experiences while creating a pick n’ mix – before another viral relationship drama took centre stage in September.

This time it was all down to influencers and former friends Sophia La Corte and Halley Kate. The two TikTokkers lashed out at each other because Sophia went on a date with Halley’s ex – breaking the girl code by not telling her. Combined, their videos on the topic hit a total of 34 million views so far.

Unprocessed emotions

‘The trend of posting voice notes on TikTik is representative of the deep connection between past emotional wounds and how we navigate relationships in the present,’ she tells Metro.

‘When we experience a breakup, it’s often more than just the loss of the current relationship. The feelings of rejection and abandonment that surface can tap into much older, unprocessed emotions.’

In these moments of emotional pain, like after a breakup, Susie explains we can feel triggered and look for comfort.

‘As adults, we may turn to parasocial relationships or social media for validation. This provides us with a sense of connection,’ she adds.

Relationship coach Gemma Nice adds that the exposure and sympathy a viral voice note video can bring also makes it an attractive trend.

‘They feel the need to overshare so more people will feel sorry for them,’ she explains to metro. ‘It gives you more a sense of purpose especially if you have broken up and are feeling sad because people will start to like you more.’

A hollow response

Susie adds that the trend appeals to the part of us that is afraid of being hurt by people close to us – however, by seeking social media validation, we in turn deprive ourselves of the healing process.

‘It doesn’t allow us to grow through genuine connection or repair the emotional wounds we carry,’ she explains.

‘This kind of communication, especially in the context of social media, can sometimes have a performative element. It’s possible that both parties are acting out their roles rather than engaging in a truly authentic exchange.

‘When the conversation becomes about staking out positions, it may end up perpetuating ruptures in relationships rather than promoting healing and repair.’

The invisible issues

For one, Gemma believes that for many of the people who share the videos that it’s ‘more about being seen as the victim’.

‘Its coming from a place of me, me, me of which could be considered asnarcissistic in itself,’ she warns.

‘In our world, society needs to be involved with everything even down to what the person eat for lunch. We seem to overshare and that not good. Its all about our ego rather than being unapologetically ourselves.’

But what are the other potential dangers in posting these videos in the first place?

Solicitor Judit Kerese for Stowe Family Law tells Metro that anyone who uploads such content could be left open to legal implications if you participate in this trend and are going through divorce proceedings.

This is because voice notes can be considered evidence. ‘Sharing content that is considered evidence breaks that privacy. The person who left the voice note could alert the court that private evidence has been posted online,’ she says.

‘If this happens, the person posting could be found in contempt of court, which can lead to imprisonment, having to pay a fine or having assets seized.’

For Kishan Pattni, Intellectual Property and Media Director at national law firm Freeths, that’s not the only danger.

‘The TikTok creator could be infringing their ex’s copyright in the voice note sound recording. In addition, they could be liable for misuse of private information where the ex has a reasonable expectation of privacy in the contents of the voice note,’ Kishan tells Metro.

‘If the creation is also part of a course of conduct, it may also be seen as harassing under English law.’

The real threat

Legalities aside, as much as thse posts might seem to provide some sort of entertainment, a number also pose a hugely disturbing factor.

TikTokker Meredith Grosser’s voice note lip sync included a message that threatened: ‘Alrighty, listen here motherf**ker. If you don’t answer the phone, or if we do not talk by… what time is it? 6.03pm.

If we don’t talk in the next three to five business minutes, we’re gonna have some severe problems.’

Meanwhile, other videos have seen posters called a ‘b**ch’, ‘controlling’ and a ‘dumb**s’.

Given the threatening and misogynistic language used, it’s hard to deny the abusive nature of the messages – which could potentially be considered as criminally offensive in some cases.

Therapist Susie explains: ‘The sense of urgency and finality in some of these notes is particularly striking. These patterns of possessiveness or control—almost a forensic accounting of what went wrong—can signal an underlying fear of vulnerability and loss of control.

‘In this context, communication is no longer about connection or understanding but about closing off or defending a position, which only reinforces feelings of rejection and abandonment.’

For some, the voice note trend can be a way of exposing formerly abusive partners, but relationship coach Gemma does point out that this is only one side of the story.

‘There’s no excuse for verbal abuse, but you can only see one side of the argument by posting this online,’ she explains.

Ultimately, Gemma urges people to stop and think about the implications before posting such videos – not just for their ex, but also for themselves.

‘It can be humiliating for you both – you’re airing out your laundry without even realising it. There may be haters on both sides which can affect the mental health of both parties,’ she warns.

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