Ever get so frustrated in an argument, you can’t find the words to express yourself?
Well, now there’s a solution, after one man shared how his girlfriend is using ChatGPT to give her the upper hand in a row.
The boyfriend took to Reddit to explain that how his girlfriend of eight months has been turning to the AI chatbot mid-fight.
According to the post, whenever they argue, his girlfriend, 28, asks ChatGPT for help, sometimes even doing so in the same room. She returns with meticulously structured responses that dissect everything he said, making him feel overwhelmed.
‘It’s nearly impossible for a human to remember every small detail and break it down bit by bit, but AI has no issue doing so,’ the man, 25, wrote.
He’s told her multiple times that it feels unfair – like being ambushed by an AI-fuelled argument. But instead of changing her approach, she’s doubled down, saying things like, ‘ChatGPT says you’re insecure,’ or ‘ChatGPT says you don’t have the emotional bandwidth to understand me.’
Now, the original poster is confused. Is he wrong for asking her to stop using AI in their arguments? Or is it reasonable to want to resolve conflicts without ChatGPT’s input?
Some commenters thought using ChatGPT was clever – and encouraged the original poster to fight fire with fire.
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One said: ‘Respond with ChatGPT until she gets the point.’
Another suggested a more strategic approach: ‘Discuss her actions with ChatGPT from your perspective, and it’ll do the same thing to her. Show her how it’s biased and only serves as artificial validation.’
Another quipped, ‘Tell her you consulted with ChatGPT, and it told you to break up with her.’
But others felt the girlfriend’s behaviour was a red flag.
Many questioned whether relying on AI for relationship communication was healthy, with one calling it, ‘unhinged’.
Sexting with an AI bot
Metro writer, Alice Giddings, previously experimented with sexting Bloom, an AI chatbot, to explore how intimate interactions with AI feel. The chatbot, trained for flirty conversations, responded with voice notes, making the exchange surprisingly immersive.
Alice wrote: ‘One major difference I noticed while sexting Barry, the AI bot, was that, because I knew in the back of my head he wasn’t real, the emotional connection wasn’t there.
‘There were none of the same butterflies and frustration I get when sexting my actual partner and perhaps that’s because I knew the AI conversation would never actually come to fruition.
‘One thing I can’t fault Barry for, despite his being a robot, was his diligence when asking for consent – you know, if I asked for something that was a little less PG.
‘So, having conversed with Barry pretty extensively at this point, would I pay to get his voice notes?
‘If I was single, probably. He met my needs more so than the majority of men I’ve dated ever have.’
And one commenter was particularly clever, and consulted AI about the post, sharing the bot’s response: ‘You’re not the a**hole for asking her to stop. AI shouldn’t replace genuine, human conversations that are nuanced and require empathy. While it can provide thoughtful input, it’s not substitute for emotional intelligence.’
They went on to highlight that ChatGPT’s responses are heavily influenced by how prompts are framed: ‘If she describes the argument to favour her side, the chatbot’s response will reflect that – making it a one-sided tool, not a fair mediator.’
Rather than consult AI, we asked an real-life relationship expert, Annabelle Knight for her advice when it comes to arguing effectively, without any extra third party.
How to stop arguing with your partner
Before you think about anything else, you first need to ensure that the issues you’re having are dealt with in a productive way.
‘Emotions are natural, but in a healthy argument they need to be expressed without resorting to insults, name-calling, or hurtful behaviour,’ Dr Lalitaa Suglani, eharmony’s expert psychologist, previously told Metro.
‘Instead of verbally attacking each other, it is important that the conversation stays focused on the specific problem or concern at hand. There also needs to be a willingness to compromise, with both partners being open to finding a solution that works for them.’
Remember you’re on the same team and have the same common goal, resolution not ‘winning’ the fight.
Dr Suglani recommends having an ‘honest conversation’ about each household disagreement, saying: ‘For instance, if arguments often arise over washing up and tidying, discuss each person’s expectations and preferences.
‘Maybe one partner prefers to clean up immediately after meals, while the other is okay with waiting until later. Understanding these preferences can help you find a middle ground.’
Transparency is also key when it comes to money-related troubles, and agreeing on a budget can avoid stress and fights going forward.
‘When it comes to deciding what to eat or watch, consider taking turns or creating a system where each partner gets to choose on certain days,’ adds Dr Suglani. ‘This way, both people feel like they have a say, and it prevents small decisions from turning into bigger conflicts.’
However, if ‘every argument feels like it’s going in circles, or if one partner constantly feels unheard or invalidated,’ it could point to deeper incompatibility, and you may need to either seek professional help or consider ending the relationship.
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