A mum is heartbroken that her mourning husband wishes to name their daughter after his late mother, a name she cannot stand.
Choosing a name for a newborn is not an easy decision, as it has to fit them throughout all stages of their life. While some parents opt for names they deem cute or unique, many adhere to the principle that both must fully agree on a name.
However, this isn’t the case for one woman whose spouse is putting up quite the fight. The couple were “excited” upon learning they were expecting a baby girl, their second child.
Previously, naming their firstborn was seamless: she chose the first name, and her husband picked the middle name, which “worked out great”.
The current situation, however, is marked by disagreement. On Reddit, the despaired mum shared: “I started going through some baby girl names and picked out a few I liked to run by him. I’m open to compromise, so I’m willing to take feedback and negotiate.”
Her husband’s distress stems from the death of his mother a few years prior, an event that hit him hard due to their close bond, leaving him “absolutely devastated”.
Upon discovering they were expecting a girl, her husband “immediately wanted to name her after his mother” the woman revealed. She said: “I suggested maybe just using her middle name as our daughter’s middle name, but he wanted to incorporate her full name. It would be the equivalent of his mother being named ‘Christina Marie’ and naming our daughter ‘Christine Marie’.”
Disliking her mother-in-law’s name intensely and never considering it an option, the mum is at odds with her husband who stands firm, announcing “he would not consider anything else”.
The aggravated mum continued: “I said that’s not fair because we have to agree on the name and I don’t want her being an extension of your mother. She has her own identity and needs to have a name that’s unique to her.”
Their recent disagreement escalated, though: “We got into an argument about it recently and I said I refuse to name our daughter almost identical to someone else. He was furious and told me to figure out the name on my own and he wants nothing to do with the naming process.
“He said I’m disrespecting his mother and he won’t tolerate it. This is supposed to be a happy and exciting time in our lives, but I’ve cried for days because of this.”
Reddit users chimed in with their opinions on the dilemma. One user advised: “Okay, for baby names, it’s two yes’s for a go and one no for a veto. You gotta tell him that you have an equal voice,” while another questioned: “I don’t understand why it’s okay for him to impose his choice on you but not the other way around? ”
A third recounted a similar personal experience before concluding: “Your husband is allowed to grieve. He isn’t allowed to treat you poorly in the process.”
Another offered a compromise: “What about using her initials? Different name but exact same initials?”