A dying son whispered a set of numbers to his mum – which she discovered was a code to reveal a message from him after he passed. Jay Kennedy’s mother Dawn realised her boy was giving her the password to his mobile phone.
After Jay, 20, died from an incurable brain tumour, Dawn was comforted to open what she describes as a “love note from heaven”. Jay was diagnosed with an incurable high grade astrocytoma – a brain tumour – after a seizure, headaches and vomiting aged 18.
Despite multiple surgeries, radiotherapy and chemotherapy Jay died with his family by his side. But in his final week he had repeated a series of digits to Dawn, 54, who after unlocking his phone found a document where Jay had been journaling since he found out he would die.
Dawn, a farmer, from Ayr, Scotland, said: “The timestamps showed he began writing just days after the doctors told us his chemo had stopped working and there were no more options.”
“It’s overwhelming to think he focused on helping us cope, writing a journal to reassure us. It’s as if he knew how much we would need his words to carry on and I can never thank him enough for it. It’s a love note from heaven.”, reports the Mirror.
Jay had a sudden seizure in January 2020 while at Strathclyde University but scans showed nothing wrong. But when Jay came home for the Covid lockdown he started having severe headaches, sickness and nausea.
Dawn decided to take him to AandE in May 2020 – where he had further scans which revealed a likely cancerous mass on his brain.
Jay, a brave young man from Glasgow, underwent surgery at Queen Elizabeth University Hospital to remove 94% of an orange-sized brain tumour. Following the operation, he was diagnosed with an incurable high-grade astrocytoma.
His mother Dawn recalled the moment they received the diagnosis: “We walked in and I just knew. He said ‘it’s not good news’. He told us it as incurable. He articulated it all out. The surgeon said ‘you’ve got one outstanding young man’.”
Despite initial treatments, the cancer returned twice more, with the final regrowth leaving Jay without surgical options and only a chemotherapy treatment that had a mere 10% chance of success. As his condition deteriorated, Jay secretly penned journal entries for his loved ones, expressing profound thoughts such as: “The reason I’m not scared of dying is that, if I had the choice of my life from 0 – 20 or an ordinary life to 80 I’d choose mine every time.”
and “I must find the strength to tell mum this… I can’t think of a single thing I’d change from my childhood because it was honestly perfect.”
“As long as I stress that I wouldn’t swap my life for anyone’s I’ll have done what I set out to with this journal… “I don’t want people feeling sorry for me as I couldn’t have dreamt of a better upbringing ‘what is grief if not love persevering’ is one of my favourite quotes which I hope mum, dad and Blair can come to love as much as me. “The timestamps showed he began writing just days after the doctors told us his chemo had stopped working and there were no more options.”
Dawn remembers Jay repeating numbers to her in his final week – and made sure she wrote them down.
She twigged the digits where his phone password and decided to look at his phone just a couple of days before he passed away.
She said: “My heart leapt out when I opened it. He had put the document on the home page. He knew what grief was. He knew what we were going to face. He’d hoped we’d manage.”
Dawn was holding Jay’s hand when he slipped away at home in his bedroom on October 8, 2021. Since then, Dawn, her husband Bryan and son Blair have leaned on Jay’s words to keep going and have raised more than £100k for several charities including Brain Tumour Research.
Dawn is now sharing some of Jay’s journal entries to raise awareness and give Jay his voice. She said: “He starts it by saying ‘I’m not sure if anyone will ever read this but I hope it gets found at some point but my name is Jay Kennedy and I have brain cancer’. It’s his words – that’s more powerful than anything I can say.”
Dawn has also written her own diary every day since Jay got his diagnosis. She said: “It pushes us on. It has given strength to people.”
Ashley McWilliams, Community Development Manager at Brain Tumour Research, remarked: “Jay’s parting gift to his family speaks volumes about his character.”
She continued, “His journal is a testament to his love and resilience, and we are deeply grateful to Dawn and her family for their incredible support.”
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She highlighted the significance of their efforts by adding, “Their fundraising is a beacon of hope for over 16,000 people who are diagnosed with a brain tumour every year, helping us get closer to finding a cure.”
People are encouraged to contribute to the cause through The Jay Walk tribute page at jaykennedy. muchloved.com/Fundraising.
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