For some couples, watching adult films together can be a healthy exercise for their relationship. However, one lady was left completely embarrassed when she learned about her long-term partner’s secret activities.
She felt “uncomfortable” with him watching porn, having been moved to tears the first time she “caught him”. After busting him twice more, she became “numb to him”.
What really compounded her distress though was uncovering he had been watching his ex on OnlyFans, scantily clad, which made her feel utterly devalued. In a Mumsnet post, she shared her utter disgust: “This made me feel sick. I honestly can’t deal with it. I feel like I’m not good enough. I have two children. My body doesn’t look like those other women, and I never will.
“I feel like I can’t trust him. To me, it’s as good as cheating. He then has been listening to ASMR of women whispering sexually – he says this is a way to relax – I understand ASMR, but whispering in a sexual way? I think not.”
When she approached her partner, he brushed off her worries, claiming “all men do it” and accused her of “overreacting”, refusing to acknowledge her discomfort with his consumption of pornography.
“He knows how I feel about it, and I honestly feel like I don’t want to be with a man who feels the need to look at other women,” she vented. She confessed her sentiments were rooted in feeling “insecure” and questioned why she wasn’t “good enough” for him.
Emphasising her role as the mother of his children, she felt this should discourage him from seeking sexual gratification elsewhere. In her post’s conclusion, she asked readers: “Am I overreacting? Do you all agree with him? It’s driving me mad.”
However, replies in the comment section showed an outpouring of support, with many lambasting the partner for ogling “his ex”.
One commenter remarked: “The porn wouldn’t bother me as I’m not insecure and find most porn absolutely cringe, but looking at his ex almost in the buff would be an absolute no.”
Another supporter stated firmly: “You’re absolutely right to be sickened by this – the lack of respect he’s shown you is staggering. And no, ‘all men’ don’t do this – that’s just what the s**t ones say to try and make you feel like you’re being unreasonable for objecting. You really aren’t.”
An additional reply expressed indignation: “The ex thing on OF is a big no-no for me. Crosses a big line. I’m sorry you’re putting yourself down so much – please don’t allow a man’s behaviour to dictate how you feel about yourself. He’s a d**k, and aside from him, I think you need to take some well-deserved time to work on yourself and f**k him off. He’s a k**b.”