A woman has been left gobsmacked after her sister drafted a ‘code of conduct’ for the family to adhere to during their festive gatherings.
The autumn and winter months are filled with opportunities to spend quality time with loved ones, from Halloween film nights and parties to Christmas market visits and cosy evenings in.
For many, especially in America, Thanksgiving is also a key event, typically celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November. A 32-year-old woman was “baffled” when, after successfully hosting Thanksgiving at her home for five years, her sister suddenly insisted on certain etiquettes.
Despite admitting that her Thanksgivings are “always a little messy and chaotic”, she believes “that’s part of the charm”. However, her 29 year old sister disagreed.
On Reddit, the woman shared: “This year, my sister decided she wanted to ‘help bring some order’ to the gathering. At first, I thought she just meant coordinating who would bring what dishes or helping with clean up.
“Instead, she showed up at my house last week with printed copies of what she called a ‘Family Code of Conduct.'” The sister distributed them, demanding everyone read and sign them before attending Thanksgiving.”
There were several rules, but “some highlights included:
- A rule against ‘overlapping conversations’ at the dinner table, with suggestions for taking turns like ‘a respectful debate club’
- A ‘ban on political or controversial topics’, with her as the final arbiter of what was too heated
- A dress code of ‘smart casual’ because ‘holiday photos should reflect well on the family’
- Assigned seating that she claimed was based on ‘optimal personality compatibility’.
After receiving the “contract”, the woman laughed and asked whether her younger sister was being serious. She learned her sister was, in fact, being “completely serious” before she then accused the woman of “not taking her efforts to improve family dynamics seriously”.
The woman added: “I told her I wasn’t going to enforce a code of conduct at my house and that if she wanted to micromanage Thanksgiving, she could host it herself.”
Her sister was left unimpressed and called her “ungrateful and stubborn”. In response, the woman “cancelled hosting” but now her family is “mad” at her. Her mother believes she should’ve “humoured” her sister for the day, while her older brother “is refusing to go anywhere unless ‘no one tries to draft a holiday constitution’”.
The woman was “torn” on whether she was wrong to stand her ground, or whether she should’ve let her sister “run the day to keep the peace”. Fellow Reddit users shared their thoughts in the comments section.
One said: “Just host your brother lol. Tell everyone else that if they’re happy about a code of conduct they’re free to attend your sister’s house. However you will not be hosting.”
Another bantered: “You can even sign a declaration of thanksgiving independence, declaring yourselves free of micromanaging attempts to create a hallmark family dinner. Celebrate your declaration by a round of whatever absolutely chaotic activity you love or loved as kids.”
Someone else added: “I’m with your brother. This would make me skip Thanksgiving all together. If she wants to be the Thanksgiving police she’s welcome to attempt this at her own house.”
While another chimed in: “She has a hell of an ego to think she has any business dictating how family dinner can go. I personally would have simply uninvited her unless or until she stepped down.”