A woman has spiced up her love life by swapping Edinburgh for romantic European cities through house swaps after finding her home dating scene challenging.
Now living in Edinburgh, Kirst Irvine, 40, originally from Newcastle, compared Scotland’s capital to a “village” with a limited dating pool, often having to “cross-check” with her single friends to avoid dating each other’s exes, reports Edinburgh Live.
However, after discovering a website that facilitates home swaps overseas, HomeExchange, Kirst decided to give it a go and started spending up to a month at a time in various European cities to work and explore different dating scenes.
Through using a range of dating apps, the senior marketing manager has connected with local men on numerous of exciting and romantic dates, such as Vespa rides through Paris at night, spontaneous margarita dates on Thursdays, and charming home-cooked meals. Although, she has also had some odd experiences, such as a man buying her dark chocolates on their first date as an intended aphrodisiac, and another in Berlin suggesting they have their first date at a popular spa. Kirst believes ghosting is an “international phenomenon” after a month-long relationship in the German capital ended abruptly when he “vanished”.
She has set her sights on her travel plans for 2025 despite not finding Mr Right yet, remaining resilient and undeterred. Kirst, who relocated to Edinburgh from London a decade ago, found the dating scene challenging. She said: “You should try to increase the surface area for serendipity. I’m meeting more people, I’m expanding my community, and while I don’t want to be single at this age, I’ve found the tools to keep life varied and lively, experience living in new places and build a life I really like.
“It keeps life interesting. You see the same faces over and over again and you also have to cross-check with your other single girlfriends. You can be out for brunch with a girlfriend and say you’re going out with a guy next week, but they’ve slept with him a couple of years ago or they’ve crossed paths – the dating pool is quite small,” she revealed.
“The dating apps also aren’t on your side sometimes and it feels like some people have dating app fatigue.”
Her employer has a flexible work policy allowing staff to “work from anywhere, any time”. With newfound freedom, she was inspired to explore different areas by working remotely and diving into the dating scene in new locations. This led her to HomeExchange, following a recommendation from a friend.
She began by swapping her two-bedroom, two-bathroom flat in Edinburgh for a similar property in London for three weeks in July 2023, before moving on to Paris for a fortnight in October 2023. This was followed by a two-week trip to Lisbon in March 2024, a week in Amsterdam in July, and most recently, a month in Berlin in September.
“It allows me to experience what life is like living and working in other cities because you can get under the skin a little bit,” she explained. “You just have to put yourself out there and be spontaneous – I’ve had lots of matches and it’s a great confidence boost.”
During her first date in Paris, one man picked her up on his Vespa and drove her through the city streets at night before they stopped for wine. “That was pretty magical. Even though the actual date itself wasn’t amazing, that will stay with me,” she remembered. “Vespas have featured quite heavily in my dating abroad – a guy I dated in Berlin for a month had a Vespa and we spent weekends hopping on and off, a coffee here, a beer there.
“I dated a guy who picked me up in his Tesla and we went for margaritas on a Thursday night, I’ve been cooked for in people’s homes, it’s been fun. Being British and blonde – even though it’s by no means exotic – you do stand out a bit.”
However, she recounted some unusual experiences: “In Berlin, I went on a date with a guy who came on really strong and bought me dark chocolates because he said we could use them for an aphrodisiac later… he did not achieve his aim.”
“There’s also a really famous spa in Germany called Vabali and because it’s Europe, you don’t wear swimwear. One guy suggested we go native and go there for our first date. I’m pretty bold but not that bold. While I’m up for fun dates, I also keep in mind my safety and ultimately I’m looking to meet someone more serious.”
Despite the thrills of dating overseas, Kirst admits it’s not without its downfalls. She added: “Ghosting is an international phenomenon and it never gets any easier. I’ve had dates arranged in the diary only for the guy to delete our chat and disappear, not having the decency to cancel.
“When ghosting happens or a guy behaves badly, you have to be your own cheerleader and get back on the horse. You have to be quite resilient, you have to be comfortable about putting yourself out there.
“Doing this has allowed me to flex my lifestyle and keep it affordable – it also supports my attitude that you just don’t know what’s around the corner. I’m yet to meet the one but I’m an optimist… I’m already thinking about where I might go in 2025.”
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