Keeping secrets from your partner is a recipe for disaster.
Honesty is a cornerstone of any relationship, and keeping a significant secret for years can’t be forgiven easily when the truth finally emerges. It’s no surprise if your partner decides to leave you due to your lies – particularly if those lies involve infidelity.
One woman found herself in this situation when her boyfriend of four years dropped a bombshell that didn’t sit well with her. After probing further, she uncovered the massive secret he’d been hiding.
In a Reddit post, the woman shared how her partner, unprompted, revealed one evening that a female gaming friend had “randomly sent him” nude photos. He claimed he’d blocked the woman and deleted the messages, but his girlfriend felt uneasy. After doing some detective work, she discovered he’d been unfaithful.
She penned: “After a while, something still felt off, so with his permission, I recovered the messages. Sure enough, he had not been entirely truthful about the situation. He was an active participant in several ways.
“Of course, once he was fully caught, he came clean entirely and apologised but was also trying to justify/defend his actions with various excuses. Finally, when I asked why he was defending himself, he deflated and said I was right, he had done a horrible thing, and he didn’t know why he’d do this.”
Her boyfriend allowed her “free rein” to go through his computer and his phone, and although she found no further evidence of cheating, she noticed he had looked up “how to permanently delete” the messages exchanged with the other woman. Now, the woman is conflicted about whether to leave her partner.
She trusts her instinct to flee because she’s always stated “cheating was a dealbreaker”, yet she is hesitant to end their four-year relationship, considering their talks about “a serious future together”. People commenting on her story encouraged her to prioritise her own well-being, with many suggesting she should leave him given this reveal of his “true colours” and the potential for repeat offences.
One commenter advised: “He cheated, lied, and only came clean when he got caught, ain’t no salvaging trust after that. You already know it’s time to bounce, don’t let four years chain you to disrespect.”
Another person chimed in: “You want to stay because of the sunk cost fallacy. You have invested time and it feels like a waste of that time to leave. He will do it again if you stay.”