We may not want them to, but kids often have tantrums.
They’re loud, inconvenient and sometimes embarassing, but they often occur none the less. Ruth Watts, a health visitor known on TikTok as @ruthwattshv, regularly shares insightful advice for parents.
Her latest tip is especially handy for those grappling with toddlers prone to tantrums. She recognises that such situations can be “tough” and “incredibly triggering”, but offers some straightforward parenting strategies to help soothe the situation.
Ruth shared the key to overcoming these situations: “Calmness in these moments is genuinely your superpower. If you meet two huge tornadoes, they are just going to create a bigger tornado. When you are calm, you are bigger than your child. That calmness is going to help absorb the tantrum, and they are going to respond so much better to that.”
She also suggests not speaking, but labelling the child’s emotions. You could say something like “I can see you’re really cross”, even if it’s through gritted teeth. “I can see you’re really cross. Mummy is here for a cuddle”.
The expert encouraged parents to persist with this approach, and pretend your child is not throwing a tantrum. She recommends ignoring the tantrum while continuing with daily tasks, without ignoring the child.
Ruth stresses the importance of acknowledging a child’s feelings while also setting clear boundaries. She suggests that it’s fine to recognise when a child is upset, particularly if they’re having a tantrum, but it’s vital to have rules in place too.
Despite initial reluctance, Ruth stresses that tantrums will eventually become less frequent. She insists that every outburst is an opportunity for parents to stay “emotionally regulated”.
With time, children will pick up on this behaviour and begin to control their own emotions more effectively. Ruth compares a tantrum to a “mountain” – climbing to a peak before coming back down.
Since uploading her advice video, it has racked up more than 100 likes, and sparked a flurry of conversation.
One parent commented: “We’re going through this with my son now. It’s so hard to remain calm, especially when he’s lashing out physically at me.”
Meanwhile, another requested: “I would love if you could do a video on hitting, as you said at the end. My two year old randomly hits almost like just for a reaction.”