Cameron Menzies admits he was so broken over his dad’s ill-health that he didn’t even want to play at the Ally Pally.
The shattered Scot has lifted the lid on the personal anguish which led to him breaking down on stage in front of watching millions. Menzies has been going through the mill in recent weeks with the battles of his father Ricky uppermost in his mind. The 35-year-old has been sickened with the worry of a parent undergoing a serious operation and stuck in hospital.
In addition, Menzies was struck down by a chest infection in the lead-up to the match which left him run down and toiling. It all became too much during the World Darts Championship loss to Leonard Gates and he explained: “My dad is on the mend, a little bit. He’s up and walking. He’s a long way from when I seen him. He went in for a triple heart bypass and a new valve and, obviously, when it all closed up, it didn’t go well.
“They had to basically put a pump in and he was on dialysis, so that’s when I seen him. I seen him at his worst. When I seen him, my mum was there and I, basically, broke down. It’s been a struggle since. He’s basically on the mend, but, being six hours away, it’s a struggle.
“I want to see him, but I can’t with this chest infection because, obviously, I don’t want to give him anything at the moment. We did think Christmas he was going to be out, but we think it might be earlier, so everything’s massive progress, thankfully.
“I last saw him over a week ago. So I seen him when he was a bit better, but he wasn’t talking much sense. It’s just because down in England and stuff, it’s just a pain, but that’s what it is.
“Saturday, Sunday, I got a chest infection. So being asthmatic, I’ve been basically couch-bound. I lay in bed all day before my game on Monday, drove down, played the game and then I’ve been in bed since. I’m still hammered with this. It’s just coughing now. It’s definitely better than what it was.
“I was hoping to go see my dad, but I can’t. I’ve never had a chest infection before, I’m told chest infections can be contagious, so I can’t really see my dad. I was hoping to get up this weekend, but obviously not until this is all cleared. It’s just been one of those things. It all just came together and stuff. It’s a bit c**p, to be honest.”
Menzies relived the build-up to the harrowing evening and, when asked how close he was to not playing, said: “I won’t give up, but I said to [partner] Fallon [Sherrock] on Sunday that I didn’t want to play.
“I just wasn’t up for it all with the way this month has been. Preparation was not great and, with other things that’s happened, I think it’s just got too much of me. It was just how I felt. I went for a practice with James Hurrell on Sunday and I was battered. I was struggling to breathe.
“This wasn’t my dad’s side of it, I was just struggling and that’s how you see me taking deep breaths on the stage. That was nothing to do with anxiety. That was not to do with breathing techniques. I was struggling to breathe because, obviously, this infection.
“It was a bad game. I’m gutted it’s over, but at the same time, I’m glad because I need to just obviously get myself cleared up health-wise, mentally and physically for next year. I’m on another diet at the moment to try and shed some weight.”
Crowds in the Ally Pally didn’t help Menzies’ situation. He was hounded during the match and it affected as he said: “A wee bit. Usually when I’m up there, I don’t really get involved with the crowd. It’s the Scotland kinda thing and pantomime villain and stuff, but, usually, I can put it off.
“You see it with other players. Sometimes there’s a dip in form and you don’t know what they are going through. They say you just played poor, but don’t know what is happening behind the scenes, so I did struggle with that a little bit as well.”
Menzies has been boosted by the support he’s had since Sunday night and said: “The amount of messages and stuff have been great and it’s been appreciated. Most folk have supported me.
“I got a message from Todd Cantwell. Ally [McCoist] spoke to me. He was on the phone and wished me and my dad all the best and he was brand new. He sounds the same as he does on the TV.
“I don’t usually answer dodgy numbers, but I knew it was a chat that was going to happen and it cheered me up. At the moment, I just want to be myself. I just want to sit and watch telly and not go through my phone and stuff.”
Menzies has suffered, but has vowed to rise and turn the harrowing night into a positive as he concluded: “Yeah, I think I will because I think I can’t get any worse than that. I mean, tears in your eyes at Ally Pally, I think will be the lowest for me. I think I’ll be fine.”