Dear Coleen
I’m a 30-year-old woman and I’m back at university and back living with my parents after ending things with my fiancé.
We’d been together for eight years and I thought I’d be with him forever, so when things ended, I felt I had to radically shake up my life. So, I quit my job and decided to study something I feel really passionate about.
I’ve also met this great guy at uni, but he’s only 21. It’s going well, we love the same things, the sex is hot, and we have a real laugh together. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried about the age gap. I’m about to meet his parents and siblings soon – we’re meeting them for a meal at the pub – and I feel nervous they won’t approve because I’m nearly a decade older and also have a broken engagement behind me.
When I’m with my boyfriend, I don’t believe anyone would think I was much older (I look pretty young for my age), but I guess it’s about life experience and I have a lot more of that than he does.
Can this work and, more importantly, how do I play it with his family?
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Coleen says
Well, I think the first thing is not to try to be something you’re not. Don’t be embarrassed about your age, own and be proud of your life experience. Remember that those extra nine years have given you things you can use when you meet your boyfriend’s parents – a greater level of emotional maturity and composure, as well as interesting stories from what you’ve done and where you’ve been.
Also, we’re not talking a 20-year age gap here and the difference in your ages obviously doesn’t bother your boyfriend because he feels confident enough to introduce you to his family. Just go and be you and don’t even bring up the age gap.
To be honest, I don’t think it matters what age you are when you meet your partner’s family for the first time. It’s always going to be a bit intimidating because you’re desperate for them to like you. But just try to have a good time and get to know his family.
It sounds like this relationship is a breath of fresh air and just what you needed after breaking up with your fiancé.
Maybe you’ll stay together and the relationship will grow or maybe it’ll turn out to be a fun fling and a bridge to helping you move on. You don’t know, so they key is to enjoy the relationship and keep an open mind.
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