A mum who went through an extremely traumatic time giving birth to her daughter is offering support to other women in West Lothian.
Jemma Foley, is inviting mums to come along and join her at monthly meetings in Whitburn where they can chat with other parents.
The 31-year-old decided to run the group after gaining vital support herself from the post natal mental health charity PaNDAS (post natal depression and support).
“I started using PaNDAS when my daughter Alice was in the first six months of life,” said Jemma. “I needed someone to talk to when I was struggling mentally.
“Alice was born by emergency section and the birth really didn’t go well. I was diagnosed with PTSD when she was only six-to-eight weeks old.
“I don’t remember the first moments of my daughter being born because I was so unwell.
“There wasn’t that magical moment for me. I was dipping in and out of consciousness.
“As time went on, my husband Sean said I just wasn’t right. I really wouldn’t have got the diagnosis of PTSD without his support.”
Jemma says concerns over her own health cast a shadow over what should have been the memory of a lifetime for Sean too.
“He was standing there holding the baby and I was going in and out of consciousness, he later said that he didn’t know if he was going to be left holding the baby and that would be it. I’ll never forget that.”
Sean had two weeks paternity leave before he returned to shift work.
“Straight away I was left on my own at nights, I didn’t really know what I was doing,” Jemma admits. “If my daughter woke up during the night crying, I’d think I was back in theatre again. I needed someone to talk to but wasn’t able to sit on the phone as I had a newborn to look after.”
It was then that Jemma turned to PaNDAS for support.
She continued: “I loved that they have loads of different ways to get in touch for help; telephone, a WhatsApp service, email…
“The WhatsApp totally came into its own for me, I could text them the way I could a pal.
“I was then referred to NHS Lothian’s Psychological Intervention Team, psychologists who specialise in post-natal issues. I received EMDR (eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing) therapy for PTSD, which was absolutely incredible.”
Jemma, who’s a nurse, had at first been sceptical that the therapy would be effective in helping her.
“I worked in A&E for nearly six years but I very much see things in black and white,” she said. “I didn’t approach the EMDR with the best attitude to be honest.
“The first couple of sessions were hard going and I felt exhausted. But after a few more sessions it was as if a light bulb had clicked. It gave me an outlet and coping mechanisms.
Post natal depression can affect any parent and, realising there was nothing in West Lothian to help mums, Jemma decided to use her own personal experience to become a facilitator for PaNDAS and help other parents.
“There is absolutely nothing in the area outwith your normal mental health services. I applied to PaNDAS and completed training in Birth Trauma, Family Dynamics, Baby Loss, and things like that.
“I am a nurse, but I’m not a nurse for PaNDAS. I’m a volunteer, but running of the group is entirely down to me. The group is for any mum who is struggling, whether that be in the post natal period or in early parenthood. It’s open to dads too, but I’ve never had any come along yet. It’s really informal, you can come along and have tea, coffee and a couple of biscuits, or have a rant if that’s what you need. You can have a laugh too.
“Some people might not have the option of childcare for an hour, so they can bring their child with them. We all need to get away for an hour now and again, but if they don’t have that option then I have toys and a play mat.”
The hour-long meetings take place at Whitburn Community Centre start at 6.30pm on the first Wednesday of each month. You can turn up at the meetings or get in touch first via email: [email protected]
The group is on Facebook, search for PaNDAS West Lothian.
For more information on the charity and its services visit: www.pandasfoundation.org.uk
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