Dating can be a scary prospect, especially when you are meeting someone for the first time. It can be a fine balance between appearing calm and collected, and showing enough interest in the person you are talking to for things to keep progressing positively.
Thankfully a neuroscientist has shared a body language tip that she believes everyone should use when chatting to their date in person. Dr Tara Swart, a brain expert and senior lecturer at MIT Sloan, shared that people should embrace the power of eye contact, especially focusing on the other person’s left eye.
On Steven Bartlett’s Diary of a CEO podcast, she explained that focusing on the left eye of another person while talking to them can stimulate a natural bonding response in the brain, reports the Mirror.
This will help you start fostering a deeper emotional connection with the other person. This method can be traced back to being a baby, as Dr Swart explained that babies will mostly learn about emotions through eye contact with their mother.
The preference for the left eye comes from most people being right-handed and tending to hold their child in their left arm. This means that when a mother looks at their baby, it is typically their right eye meeting the left eye of the baby, therefore establishing an early pattern of left-eye focus.
She added that an ’emotional resonance loop’ can be created from these early interactions profoundly impacting the amygdala; the area of the brain responsible for processing emotions.
She added: “So, most people are right-handed, so they’ll be holding their baby in their left arm so they can use their dominant hand to do stuff. So when you gaze at your baby, your right eye is looking at their left eye, and then as that interaction from the optic nerve is going around the brain, it’s impacting the amygdala where emotions come from.
“It’s creating this emotional resonance loop that’s part of how the mother and baby bond so that right eye to left eye contact is the most bonding eye contact you can have with someone. If I’m trying to build a bond with someone, that’s statistically the most likely one to create good resonance between you.”
She also added that sharing a hug and some jokes before sitting down to have a conversation can subconsciously lower the other person’s defences and start the bonding process. Dr Swart also mentioned that friendship and trust can be fostered with other body language techniques, such as handshakes, hugs and cheek kisses.
On top of helping form a deeper bond, she added that making eye contact, especially with the left eye, can stimulate the release of oxytocin – otherwise known as the love hormone. This can help create connection and trust between people.
Some other studies agree with Dr Swart’s assessment about the left eye helping to build stronger emotional connections, but not all scientists completely agree on how accurate this theory is.