Dear Coleen
I’m a 54-year-old man and currently in the middle of building a new house. Recently, I had to move out of my old place, as the new buyers wanted to move in right away. But the new house has been delayed, so my two good friends said I could stay in their spare room until my place is ready.
They aren’t the problem, it’s their 17-year-old daughter. Whenever it’s just the two of us in the house, she walks about in revealing outfits, pyjamas or just a towel after showering. Her parents have big jobs, so often go away at weekends, camping or to a hotel.
Their daughter is beautiful, but obviously I would never make a move or let anything happen between us. Last weekend, though, she took it to another level. On Friday night I was in the kitchen making a snack and she came in wearing a see-through nightdress with nothing on under it. So, I took my snack upstairs, packed a bag of clothes and spent the weekend in my car.
I feel very awkward being left alone with her now, but I can’t afford to pay for somewhere else to stay. Please help.
Coleen says
This is screaming danger on every level for me. If you’re feeling uncomfortable, then I’m afraid it’s up to you to find somewhere else to stay, at least on those weekends when her parents are going to be away.
You’re the adult in this situation and I believe there are always options if you try to find them. Moving in with your friends was the easiest – and free – option, but I don’t think it’s an option for you any more.
Even if you explained how you feel to her parents in the nicest possible way, they could say, “Well, it’s her house”, and they might also be offended if you suggest she’s being inappropriate and ask you to leave.
She might be angry and embarrassed that you talked to her parents and turn it around on you. At the very least, it would cause a very weird atmosphere in the house, so you really wouldn’t want to be there anyway.
I can’t see anything good coming from this at all. You say you’d never let anything happen but could it? Is it worth taking the risk? You could end up in a very bad situation for the sake of free bed and board.
Reach out to other friends and relatives, and look closely at your finances to see what you can afford.
What about a caravan or tent on the site of your new house? Take control and get yourself out of the situation.