Parenting can feel like a minefield, and many first-time parents are left panicking over the sheer abundance of questions that come with raising a child- at what age should they get their own phone? What should you do if they’re getting bullied? How can you build an open an honest relationship with them? And so on and so on.
But one important aspect of parenting that can be difficult to approach is your child’s privacy. While of course, you worry about them, it’s important to respect that your wee ones are people of their own.
But it can be difficult to find the balance between making sure they’re okay and giving them enough of their own space. So, at what age should you start knocking before entering your child’s bedroom?
Experts at website Parents.com have shared advice on the exact age you should start giving your child some privacy. Your child’s room is their own special space, and as they start to grow into themselves, it’s important to respect that.
Here’s what age the experts say you should start knocking before entering your child’s room.
When should you start knocking on your child’s bedroom door?
Toddlers
During ages one to three, the experts advise that parents don’t need to knock on their toddler’s door before entering, as it’s completely necessary for their safety for you to be able to enter their room and check on them.
At this age, the experts said, your child has ‘zero’ need for their own privacy.
School-age kids
When kids enter school-age (ages four to 10), they begin to develop a clearer sense of self, and require more personal space as a result.
Clinical psychologist Dr Lisa Strohman said: “While they may not request privacy in the same way older children do, you can start knocking before entering their room—especially if they’re playing, reading, or having private time.”
But keep your kid’s safety in mind too – if you suspect your child is hurt or engaging in dangerous behaviour, you should enter the room without knocking.
Tweens
Parents.com explains that during the tween stage (ages 11 to 12), kids require much more privacy, so knocking on their door before entering is usually necessary.
But just because your tween craves privacy doesn’t mean they don’t need their parent. Keep in mind to check in with them routinely, as they may be less likely to admit that they need your support at this age.
Teens
As children enter the teen years (ages 13 to 18), it’s crucial to respect their privacy as much as you can, and parents should make it a habit to always knock before entering their teen’s bedroom.
Dr Strohman said: “They are seeking to understand their own social identity, how to forge new relationships and often like to have conversations and space [away] from the family at this time.
“This last phase really is about teaching mutual respect—acknowledging their right to privacy while keeping channels of communication open.”