From underwhelming Hinge dates to failed situationships, navigating the world of dating is no easy task – especially when it comes to finding a serious relationship.
With mixed signals and the challenge of connecting with someone who shares your vision for the future, it’s no wonder many people feel stuck at square one.
But according to Annie Zimmerman, also known as @your_pocket_therapist on TikTok, there are five steps you need to take to find a lasting partner amid the craziness.
In a video shared with her 350,000 followers, she claims the ‘number one’ method to find that special someone to settle down with is to .
For example, if you’re looking for someone who’s ‘emotionally available and a good communicator’, Annie suggests leading by example and communicating how you feel to them.
Annie’s second tip is to . While many people in relationships are guilty of clinging on past their sell-by date (perhaps as a result of ‘sunk cost fallacy’) the London-based psychotherapist advises: ‘Don’t try to force things’.
She adds that those seeking a long-term relationship should ‘listen to your gut and be prepared to say no if things don’t feel right’.
Next, in third, is to . Many might associate ups and downs as a normal part of a relationship, but Annie warns her followers to ‘watch out for that intense chemistry that feels like you’re on a rollercoaster’ early on.
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‘This might not be the stable love that you’re actually looking for,’ she says. It could also be a sign of love bombing, so it’s worth being wary.
Annie’s fourth point is the recommendation to
She explains: ‘If you don’t like how someone is right now, don’t bank on the fact that they’re going to change, because likely they won’t and you’ll be disappointed.’
And, finally, Annie advises those looking for something serious to ‘’. This may seem slightly obvious, but it’s all too easy to get swept up in something you later realise is one-sided.
Adding to Annie’s advice, psychologist and sex and relationships adviser Barbara Santini emphasises the significance of self-reflection and emotional intelligence.
‘It’s imperative to understand one’s own relationship patterns, values and attachment styles,’ she tells Metro.co.uk. ‘This self-awareness not only fosters personal growth but also attracts partners who resonate with your authenticity.’
Barbara also claims that effective communication is essential in the journey toward a serious relationship, commenting: ‘I advocate for being transparent about one’s intentions from the onset. This includes articulating what “serious” means to you, as definitions can vary significantly between individuals.
‘A conversation about long-term aspirations and emotional needs can clarify alignment and potentially foster deeper connections.’
In terms of signals your potential partner may not be looking for a serious relationship, Barbara says ‘an inconsistency in their actions versus their words’ is a typically glaring red flag.
‘If someone claims to desire a committed relationship but frequently engages in casual dating or avoids discussing future plans, it may indicate ambivalence,’ she says.
Don’t forget to keep an eye on how they include you in their life either, as Barbara adds: ‘If they consistently keep you at arm’s length or refuse to integrate you into their social circles, it may suggest a lack of investment in building something lasting.’
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