Nurse Julie McFadden, a former ICU nurse who has transitioned to hospice care, has become an online sensation for her frank discussions on the often-shunned subject of death. She recently appeared on the ‘ Dr Karan Explores ‘ podcast alongside another internet-famous medic, Dr Karan Rajan, where they delved into the topics of death, dying, and how to live well.
During the podcast, Nurse Julie shared valuable insights she’s gained from her patients about experiencing a “good death” both mentally and physically—lessons she’s applying to her own life. The healthcare expert revealed: “You need to be willing to ask for help, accept help. You need to be willing to let go of how your life was because your life is going to change drastically and you’re not going to be able to do the things you used to do. I want to live in the black and white, I want to know what the deal is, and a lot of times end of life is very grey.”
She also observed that patients facing “less violent deaths” tend to be more open and honest about their feelings, which aids in the process of letting go. Nurse Julie emphasized: “You have to be willing to talk honestly about how you’re feeling, not just like what you think you should say, but how you actually are feeling because that will help tremendously on the letting go process.”
She’s taken the lessons learned from her late patients to heart, “trying to live more in the grey” and accept help when needed. A significant shift she’s made since her time in the ICU is practising gratitude. In the same conversation, Nurse Julie shared the three most common regrets people have on their deathbeds: not enjoying their health, working too much, and poorly managing relationships, often focusing too much on one person while neglecting others. Nurse Julie admits that she confronts her own mortality daily, “not in a morbid way but in a freeing way”.
She elaborated: “I don’t do it to be like: so now I have to travel the world and like jump out of airplanes’. I do it on a daily basis, I can appreciate my coffee and how it tastes, how the sun feels on my skin, when my mum calls me on my phone.
“I try thinking about how that’s all going to go away, so how can I appreciate it now? It helps me be here today and appreciate my little life that I love so much.”