Saoirse Ronan’s truth bomb reveals men like Paul Mescal have lots to learn

The silence couldn’t have been louder when Saoirse Ronan dropped some serious facts on The Graham Norton Show.

That viral mic-drop moment, which highlighted the daily terrors women face, proved just how much men like Paul Mescal – who fans across the internet frequently hail as the pinnacle of the modern man – still have so much to learn.

On Friday night, the Oscar-nominated actress appeared on the BBC programme as part of a star-studded line-up, alongside Gladiator II stars Denzel Washington and Paul, and Day of the Jackal actor Eddie Redmayne.

When the time came for Graham, 61, to ask Eddie, 42, about his latest role as a lethal assassin in the TV series, the actor explained that as part of his training, he was taught how he could use his phone as a weapon if someone was attacking him.

After demonstrating how you can jab the butt of your phone into an attacker’s throat, Paul, 28, chimed in, saying: ‘Who’s actually going to think about that? If someone attacks me, I’m not going to go, “phone”.’

At this remark, a quizzical expression dawned on Saoirse’s face, and it was clear that the 30-year-old Blitz star had something to add to the discussion, as she began: ‘I think…yeah but…’, before she was interrupted by Graham laughing along with Paul’s joke.

Responding to the light-hearted quip, Eddie said that his fellow actor had made a ‘very good point’.

And then finally, after smiling along politely, Saoirse silenced the entire sofa with an uncomfortable truth that it seems to me they’d been too unaware or ignorant in the moment to consider, stating: ‘That’s what girls have to think about all the time.’

For a short moment, you could have heard a pin drop in the BBC studio as the host, guests and audience processed what she’d said.

As Paul and Eddie mumbled awkwardly in agreement, Saoirse addressed the audience to say: ‘Am I right, ladies?’ to rapturous cheers and applause. ‘It’s true though,’ she added.

Sadly, rather than give further attention to this extremely important topic – that women are constantly on guard in case they’ll become the target of an unexpected attack from a male assailant – Graham moved on to ask Eddie about doing horseriding for his role.

Every element of this disheartening exchange – from the men laughing carelessly at Paul’s joke about using a phone to fend off an attacker, to the clear awkwardness in the room when Saoirse spit facts, to her point arguably being glossed over to brighten the mood – spoke volumes.

There’s a strong chance that if you were to ask any woman, they’ve taken precautions while out in public to be prepared to fight an attacker.

This mindset starts from a very young age. When I started secondary school, especially when walking home in the dark, I’d hold my keys between my fingers as a makeshift weapon… just in case.

I’d make sure my long hair was tucked away so that an attacker couldn’t pull it and stop me from getting away. I’d ensure I was wearing shoes that I could comfortably run in. 

I’d check the reflections in car windows and wing mirrors if there was someone behind me who looked suspicious or was uncomfortably close. I’d cross the road to get away from them, take note of houses that clearly had people inside in case I needed to scream for their help, or bushes nearby that I could hide behind.

Some of these techniques I worked out on my own, others I was told by adults who emphasised the need to be cautious. Because they knew there was a strong chance that as a girl, I’d become a target.

When I was around 13, I took part in a self-defence class at school for girls, where we were taught how to get out of situations like being held by the throat up against a wall, pinned to the ground by a man sitting on top of you or threatened by a knife. 

Even while acting out these scenarios with my classmates, it was scary how real they all felt.

As far as I’m aware, my brother, who’s two years older than me, didn’t have to do any classes like that when he was a teenager, nor did my male friends.

That class (and my childhood karate lessons) did give me a semblance of confidence that I could try my best to fight back if I ever needed to.

But perhaps if boys had similar classes, or even learnt what to do if they ever spotted a girl or woman being attacked, then unintentionally thoughtless remarks like the ones Paul made wouldn’t happen.

The public’s reaction to the viral Graham Norton exchange was swift.

On X, user @edithcrxwley outlined how the viral Graham Norton Show clip ‘encapsulates men being ignorant of male privilege in a nutshell’.

‘The fact that these guys – nice guys, mind – are just so unaware is almost terrifying. Thank goodness for Saoirse though because we all need a bit more attention drawn to this,’ they said.

Another user called @leadiyon added: ‘I like this clip bc these two are arguably some of the least toxically masculine actors, who have shown real intention to make space for female voices in their careers, and yet they are men, so they will never live in a woman’s skin and truly understand the violence we live with.’

While @arianaspovv insightfully said: ‘Another thing I love about this is that Saoirse and Paul are friends yet it did not stop her from calling him out on his (unintentionally) privileged commentary. She didn’t dismiss her thoughts because it might be an uncomfortable call-out and ruin the vibes. Be like Saoirse.’

In moments like this, it can be tempting to unleash fury on the men who have shown themselves to be not as socially aware as we would have hoped or expected.

While the frustration is justified – and it is infuriating that there are times when even the least toxic men still need to be reminded of their immense privilege – the positive we can glean from this is the huge wave of conversation Saoirse’s statement has sparked. And it couldn’t have come at a more pivotal moment. 

In July, the National Police Chiefs’ Council published a report revealing that violence against women and girls had ‘reached epidemic levels in England and Wales, in terms of its scale, complexity and impact on victims’. The study also found that at least one in 12 women will be the victim of violence every year, ‘with the exact number expected to be much higher’.

According to the organisation End Violence Against Women, 97% of women aged between 18 and 24 ‘have experienced some form of harassment in public’. As crushing as this statistic is, it doesn’t surprise me one bit.

Throughout my entire life, my female friends and I have frequently shared stories of harassment with each other. 

One of my latest experiences happened just a couple of weeks ago on the tube, when a man wouldn’t leave me alone and other passengers came to sit next to me to check if I was alright. Thankfully, and perhaps largely thanks to their support, it didn’t escalate any further.

Hopefully, this exchange on The Graham Norton Show will inspire more men – including those who can rightly pride themselves on being conscious of gender inequality – to check their own behaviour and see where they can improve. 

Because given the truly horrific levels of violence that girls and women still face across the globe, we need greater awareness, support and action more than ever.

Am I right, ladies?