An brave Scots man has told of the traumas he has faced after being drugged and sexually assaulted in the back of a car at 20 years-old.
Joey Jones, from Murrayfield, has vowed to encourage men to speak up and get help after he suffered in silence for seven years following the incident. Opening up on his experience to Edinburgh Live, the now 30-year-old explained that he was over in South Africa pursuing a rugby career and was out celebrating with his teammates after a game when the incident occurred.
After several drinks and being drugged he found himself in a car with an older man who he said “wouldn’t let him leave” before sexually assaulted him. Joey says he still has no memory of how he got there. Following the horrendous ordeal, Joey turned to drinking, drugs and gambling as a way of coping mechanism for the trauma.
Joey said: “I took a gamble going out to South Africa, I was away from friends and family. However, I was a really confident young lad who was a high achiever at rugby. One night, I was out with friends and I remember being completely out of it.
“I don’t really know how it happened because I don’t remember drinking that much. A few hours later in the night, I found myself in a car with an older man who just would not let me leave. When I was trying to escape he would not let me and that’s when the assault happened.
“He proceeded to sexually assault me and it’s something I have really struggled to deal with over the past 10 years. I think when it happened, I wasn’t aware of the impact it was having on me because I used to be really busy with rugby and that’s how I would suppress my emotions so after it happened, I just really focused on the sport.
“But a year later I had to give up rugby because of an injury and that’s when it got really bad for me because I lost my coping mechanisms.”
Joey started university to study maths and said he continued drinking until he would “black out” as a way of “clouding his thoughts”.
He added: “Once I had more time on my hands, I started to pursue really unhealthy coping mechanisms. I was going to university to study maths and being in that environment can bring on heavy drinking and drugs and I started to take it to an extreme and I was doing it constantly.
“I would smoke weed all day as a way clouding my thoughts. I would drink to the point of blacking out which I knew was so dumb because I was putting myself back in the same position that started all of this. I couldn’t find any other way of dealing with it and I didn’t want to. I completely screwed up my degree too but I made it through in the end.”
Seven years following the incident in South Africa, Joey gained the courage to open up to his loved-ones about the ordeal and said they were the reason he got through his toughest years.
He continued: “I have such a close bond with my family. When I had suicidal thoughts throughout the years, I felt like I couldn’t do it anymore but I just couldn’t bring myself to tell them what happened when I was in South Africa.
“Just speaking to them on the phone was enough to pull me off the ledge. I kept thinking of the people I was going to hurt if I reached breaking point. They really got me through. I am in a good place now and I just hope I can encourage people to do the same and speak up about what happens to them.”
This November Joey is attempting to weightlift 1,277,125kg which is the estimated combined of all UK men who lost their lives to suicide between 2021 and 2023. The month-long challenge will start on November 1 for Joey who is looking to raise funds and awareness for men’s health charity Movember, ending with a triple marathon finale across a bike, rowing machine and ski erg.
Speaking about the challenge, Joey added: “Three years ago, I finally had the courage to tell someone – my girlfriend actually noticed something was wrong with me. She helped me get through the hardest time of my life.
“It was the start of me dealing with what happened, and finding some level of peace. I now feel more in control of my life, so I am sharing my story in the hope that it might encourage other men struggling with their mental health to speak up and seek help.
“‘I am undertaking this epic physical feat to help raise money and awareness, but also to support my own mental health. I find it so important to stay active as well as having someone I feel comfortable talking to and friends that support me.”
Joey’s giant 29-day challenge includes 26 days lifting, three rest days and a total of 20,040 reps distributed across five exercises; 70kg Bench press per rep, 80kg Squat per rep, 100kg Deadlift per rep, 60kg Bent over row per rep and 40kg Push press per rep. The final day on November 30 will see Joey take on the Ultimater Ergathon (Ski, row & bike three marathons).
You can find out more information here.
If you’ve been affected by this article, Samaritans are available to call 24 hours a day on 116 123. You can also find help on their website here.
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