Purchasing an expensive item only to have a friend accidentally break it weeks later can be incredibly frustrating – and it’s a delicate situation to handle.
You wouldn’t want to jeopardise a close friendship over something that might seem minor, yet you’d naturally hope for the damaged item to be replaced, particularly if it set you back more than £200.
Currently, a woman finds herself in this predicament after taking her story to Reddit’s ‘Am I The A**hole’ forum. She explained: “I have this friend who is pretty big. Like, 350lbs (25 stone) or maybe a bit more, while everyone else in our circle is more on the slim side.
“I love her very much and want her to feel at home at my place, so I made sure that my new chairs at the dining table were safe for her to use. But then she didn’t really find them comfortable.”
The woman detailed how she avoided choosing chairs with “armrests that would be tight to fit in” or “curved seats to press into her legs”, but her friend was not satisfied as they weren’t “upholstered enough for her liking or something”.
Consequently, her friend spotted the “nice comfy lounge chair” in the living room and “dragged it over to the table” wanting to sit on it despite being cautioned: “It might not be as sturdy as the chairs, but she still wanted to use it.”
The owner lamented the chair was “designer” narrating, “one of those cup-formed ones with thin brass legs, beautiful but not very stable”. They detailed their recent purchase at a “designer outlet” for $250 (£193), expressing attachment to the piece.
Describing the unfortunate incident, they recounted: “Then she raised one of her legs to put it on the rim of the chair and against the table. Ok. Then she decided to fold her other leg below her onto the chair and shifted her weight back and to the left to do this, tilting the chair slightly back while holding on to the table to do these acrobatics. The chair creaked, and then the leg bent and broke, and she crashed to the floor with it,” as described by the startled companion.
They added: “My friend hurt her elbow, and everyone was all over her, making her feel good that night, including me. We got her an ice pack and everything and no blame; she was clearly shocked and shaken, so it wasn’t the time to talk about the chair… she blamed the chair for not being sturdy right away, though and said many times how it sucks to be treated like this by the world.
“I didn’t say much at that moment. But the next day, I called her to ask about paying for the chair… She’s is extremely angry now and our group of friends is split: some say that I’m wrong because her weight isn’t her fault and she should be able to do what she likes regardless, otherwise it’s discrimination, and also I should have told her absolutely not to sit on that chair if I wasn’t sure it would support her.
“Some are on my side and say she shouldn’t have dragged a chair over that wasn’t intended to be used at the table, and if she did, she should have just kept her feet on the floor as that clearly worked better and she knows her weight and associated issues best. I agree with the latter and also want a full price from her.
“I won’t be able to replace the chair with the same model (the regular price is just too high and none are left at the outlet), but it was just a few weeks old, so I think I deserve the full price to get something else instead. Also, I’m just 120lbs (8 stone 5lbs), and I love her, but why would I have to buy only chairs that can support my weight thrice? That’s not how it works in my head.”
They then questioned whether they were wrong for requesting their friend to replace the broken chair, and the consensus was that they weren’t.
One person commented: “Who drags a decorative chair to the dining table when there are already enough chairs? Who leans back in an expensive, decorative chair? My kids get in trouble for leaning back in ordinary chairs at the table. This person has terrible manners, regardless of their weight, and broke your furniture while being rude and careless.”
Someone else wrote: “I feel like the original poster would get the rest of her friends on her side if she framed it differently: ‘I don’t want [friend] to repay me because she was too heavy for my furniture. I want [friend] to repay me because she broke my furniture being rude and careless. If anyone else had dragged the chair into the dining room and stained it or otherwise ruined it, I would expect them to repay me as well’.”
Another Redditor commented: “Definitely, the weight is just being used to muddy the water and distract from the real situation. She used something that wasn’t hers without permission and broke it. In literally any other situation, you would be expected to pay for whatever you broke. This case is the exact same, whether or not she is 30 pounds or 300 pounds.”