Dating in London: there aren’t enough adjectives to convey the crushing hopelessness with which singles describe this gruelling experience.
The endless ghosting after mediocre first dates, exhausting swiping on apps that promise love but are rarely ever fruitful, not to mention the utter audacity of some people…
It’s dull, tiresome, and many in their 20s and 30s are simply done with it. Jess Hobbs is one of them, so she’s set out on a mission to meet someone IRL (that’s in real life, off social media).
Jess started a TikTok series where, every Thursday, she goes to a new pub or potential meet cute spot in London to try and find her dream man.
Tinder. Hinge. Bumble. They’re all out.
Jess’ first episode has hit more than 250,000 views, with countless singles becoming invested in her journey and empathising with the sorry state of affairs that is the Great British dating scene.
She said: ‘I’m going to document every pub I go to, if there’s cute guys there, what the energy is and if I have the guts to talk to anyone. And if a date comes out of it.’
The IRL search
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First, Jess tried The Alpaca in Islington, but said the vibes were ‘not so good’ with a decided lack of male real estate. She laughed that she was off to a ‘terrible start’.
For the second instalment, Jess took her search to Borough before grabbing a bite at the Greek restaurant OMA. ‘I’ll do whatever I have to to find a cute man in real life,’ she said.
While she and her single friend had a ‘hot waiter’, not much came of that night either.
Episode three saw Jess venture to a house party in East London, then heading out after. ‘The house party was good but there were no potential men there,’ she said.
With panic stations setting in, her fourth attempt was a lunchtime experiment in Bank – also unsuccessful, while episode five took her to The Royal Oak where she sat at the bar in the hope of seeming more approachable (no joy).
Jess bar-hopped in Exmouth Market for her sixth episode and this proved to be the most promising night yet. ‘There were quite a few cuties and there was one where I thought “yes, I’m gonna go out with him”,’ she said. However, once her friends vetted him, it turns out he wasn’t quite her type.
Where should you go to meet someone in London?
Despite Jess’ less than flying start, the comments on her series have become a treausre trove of tips from others doing time in the trenches of single life.
Multiple people suggested Broadgate Circle near Liverpool Street, which can confirm is absolutely packed with people on a Thursday and Friday night.
The Westbourne in Notting Hill was another favourite for meeting someone, as was the Jamaica Wine House in Bank, another recommendation that came from the comments.
TikToker Maria shared: ‘The Duke of York in St John’s Wood after a match at Lord cricket grounds – full to the brim with what look like eligible men (and yes, many young).’
Meeting someone out in the big wide world can happen, even if apps feel like thedefault.
TikToker Jake Timothy-Dorward said in the comments: ‘I stopped using dating apps since becoming single in June and have found it way easier than expected to meet people in the wild, just need to be more vulnerable and go into everything no expectations.’
‘This is so me. Tired of using dating apps and I’ve been trying new activities,’ wrote @heythereimleigh.
Try lingering
If you’ve been inspired to venture out to a new spot in the hopes of locking eyes with a cute stranger, there’s another technique you can add to your arsenal that may increase your chances.
Lingering is essentially the idea that if you choose to be more present and spend more time at your favourite haunts, you’re more likely to meet someone organically who you probably already have something in common with.
You can then score dates from these interactions and form a romantic connection.
International matchmaker and dating and relationship expert Sarah Louise Ryan insists that lingering can only work wonders in your dating life.
Sarah told : ‘The more you put yourself out there in the real world, surrounded by people in real life, the more likely you are to create opportunities for dating.’
‘With the conversion rate from swipes to dates being lower than most think, it makes sense that being out there in the world will create more human interactions.
‘Even if the people you meet are not single, it will boost the muscle of confidence when having social interactions. Furthermore, meeting someone in person forges genuine connection quicker as you can see more of their character, personality, demeanour and way of being with others.’
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