A mum has sparked a debate after revealing she plans to take her children and nephew on a holiday to Disney, leaving her 16-year-old stepdaughter at home.
The 41-year-old woman, who gained two stepchildren when she remarried, turned to Reddit to discuss her decision.
She wrote: “We have always treated the children as equally as possible, though with extended family, they don’t always go on the same trips if we don’t go. His parents take his children on vacations and my child doesn’t want to go without me.
“This has never been an issue. But when we plan trips, we always take everyone. The problem is that my stepdaughter doesn’t really like anything that anyone else does. Or she will like it until someone else does.”
The woman added” “She really wanted to go on a winter trip to Colorado for skiing. None of the other children were that excited, but seeing as it’s hard to find things she likes, we went. She was excited until the other kids started enjoying it too, and then she wanted to leave. This is pretty much what happens when we go on trips to the zoo, museums, or anything. And if other people are already happy about it, she immediately hates the idea.”
In an attempt to understand her mindset, both her biological parents and stepparents spent individual time with her as well as together as couples, but this didn’t seem to make a difference. She explained: “We thought maybe she just wanted time with each parent alone. So we did that with both her mum and dad. She still complained the whole time.
“Her counsellor suggested she might want activities with both parents to show they get along. They tried this, but if they showed any enjoyment at all, she despised whatever they were doing. We’ve had girl days with her mum and me, and she hates it. We have found the less enthusiastic we are, the more she wants to do it.” Consequently, they let the 16-year-old choose the family activity, but as soon as someone showed interest or enjoyment in it, the teenager began to complain.
“If she sees someone like something she chose, she complains and says it was her idea like no one else can enjoy it. So this year, we had been talking about Disney for a while. My nephew has cancer and has always wanted to go with us because he has no siblings and not many friends due to missing a lot of school.”
“My stepdaughter said it was stupid as soon as everyone else wanted to go. Her father said he would have a lot of work to catch up on when he got back. He does seasonal work and has to take the work while he can. The kids agreed that they wanted to go and he wanted us to, so I made the plans and we decided to go back another year with all of us. I made the reservations for myself, my sister, my nephew, and three of our children, deciding stepdaughter could stay back with dad since she didn’t want to go anyway.”
Despite repeatedly asking her if she wanted to join and being turned down each time, her husband felt she should have booked her a ticket regardless. She continued: “She was adamant every time she didn’t want to go. Her dad says she always says she doesn’t want to go but would regret missing out. This is based on last summer’s vacation when she said she didn’t want to go but loved it. We were at a campground and it rained the whole time. We were pretty miserable but she thought it was funny.”
In response to her post, one user commented: “It sounds like she is struggling to find her individuality. My advice for when she starts grumping at places is to straight up ignore her. Keep having your fun and let her learn to join.” Another added: “I’d only advise, you, your partner, and the child’s mother to focus more on her mental health treatment because this thing sounds very pathological, to say the least.”