For many, gathering around with friends and family is a key part of the festive period.
However, spending extended time with your loved ones – and probably enjoying a few drinks at the same time – can cause arguments to break out.
A survey of 2,000 adults who celebrate Christmas found that while 83% are excited about spending time with their loved ones over the festive break, 43% are preparing themselves for potential arguments.
While some stem from people harping on about the past, other squabbles can arise from cooking and playing games. Plus, one manipulative behaviour that can arise is gaslighting.
According to Cambridge Dictionary, gaslighting is defined as ‘the action of tricking or controlling someone by making them believe things that are not true, especially by suggesting that they may be mentally ill’. For example: ‘His gaslighting was a deliberate attempt to convince her that she was losing her grasp on reality’.
It causes confusion and can make you feel awful – but thankfully, a lawyer has shared a brilliant comeback for if it happens to you.
On TikTok, Jefferson Fisher told his 1.2 million followers they should respond with “as little as possible”. He explained: “A gaslighter’s whole goal is to distract you and make you chase every other issue but the real one as if you’re the cat and they have the laser point So, the less you say, the less you chase.”
Next, Jefferson recommends acknowledging the person’s comment without arguing back. He explained: “So when that gaslighter says ‘you’re being crazy right now’ – instead of chasing it and saying ‘crazy? How am I crazy?’ you’re going to repeat the phrase of acknowledgement, ‘I understand you disagree with me’. When you repeat it keeps you from chasing”.
When disagreeing during an argument, he recommended repeating the phrase ‘I see things differently’. The lawyer says you can repeat it as many times as you need and this will allow you to stay in control.
So would you try it? People in the comments section seem to be willing to give it a go.
One wrote: “This is great! I also learned to hold eye contact while saying nothing. Let the silence get real uncomfortable…people will back peddle.”
Another said: “‘I see things differently’ is going to help me immensely.” And a third added: “I needed this today.”