Two heartbroken parents have said they still believe their son could be alive after he vanished 12 years ago.
Rob and Julie from Colchester last saw Anthony Starmers on May 27 2012, when he went to stay with a friend in London, the day before his grandfather’s funeral.
The then 27-year-old promised to be back the next day, to go with his family to Colchester Crematorium, where he was to give a reading. He even sent a text asking his parents to make sure his trousers were pressed, ready for the service but never turned up.
Speaking to The Mirror from their home in Colchester, on Anthony’s 40th birthday his dad said: “The last 12 years or so have been absolute agony for us – his sister Catherine, 45, and his brother James, 43, miss him dreadfully. To say it was out of character for Anthony to not attend my dad’s funeral would be putting it mildly.”
“He wasn’t in a good place after his grandfather passed and had been struggling to get steady work after leaving university, suffering a number of knockbacks. We don’t know for sure what happened, but we think he took the funeral as an opportunity to go off somewhere. At first we thought he wanted some time to himself to get away from things.
“But then when he didn’t come home you don’t know what to think. It’s a mystery, but we believe Anthony is still alive. You do think the worst at times, but we’ve had no bad news, so we continue to look for him. Every time we go up to London, we’re always looking for him on the train and the tube. He knew London very well, as he went to university in south London and had friends in east London, so most of the searches have covered this area.
“But he could be anywhere. He loved Ireland – particularly Giant’s Causeway. When we visited a couple of years before he went missing, he said he could do some great writing among the beautiful scenery. He had just finished writing a book and making his first album, he’s very creative and talented.”
Rob and Julie, who are receiving support from Missing People, who have helped by putting up posters of Anthony and being there to listen at the end of the phone 24 hours a day, say landmarks like birthdays are particularly tough.
The heartbroken mum explained: “It feels like my heart is breaking into so many pieces. I can’t celebrate with him because I don’t know where he is. Even though he’s 40, he’s still my baby. It would just be so wonderful to be able to celebrate his birthday with him and have him home for Christmas.
“Obviously, we love having our other children around and we’ve just become grandparents for the first time this year. But it’s a tough time with mixed emotions. Our other son James would love his brother to meet his new niece and to be part of the family again. Just a couple of days ago, there was a chap across the road from our house standing at a bus stop and I thought ‘oh my goodness they look so similar’.
“I was just staring at him and in the end. I had to go over and apologise for staring at him and say ‘I’m so sorry for staring at you, you look like my son’. It’s exhausting. Some days I don’t feel like getting up, but I say to myself ‘today’s the day we might find him, so get up, get dressed and get on with it.'”
The pair have never given up hope one day they will see their son again and have launched a fresh video appeal to coincide with the 40-year-old’s birthday.
Julie adds: “However minor they think what they have to say is, it might be a really tiny snippet that might be important. Whether they think they’ve seen something, heard something, or they think Anthony might be living near them. Anything at all that they think might help, they can contact the Missing People charity through 116 000, texting or phoning anonymously if they wish, or the police on 111 and just to keep vigilant. In nearly 13 years he may have changed a lot, but we don’t know. We just have to keep trying.
“Anthony, if you see or read this, I want you to know we love you so much and miss you every minute of every day. So do Cathy and James and all your friends and now you have a beautiful little niece who would love to meet you. You’ve done nothing wrong, we just love you and want you home.”
When Anthony left the family home he was carrying a large record bag, filled with books and later withdrew £140 from his account. His bank account hasn’t been touched since and although police have followed up potential sightings of Anthony in Colchester, Doncaster and London, this hasn’t led to any new lines of inquiry. His phone hasn’t been used since he disappeared and there are no CCTV images of Anthony recorded at nearby bus or train stations.
A spokesperson for Essex police said: “Thirty Essex Police detectives were involved at the height of the police search for Anthony. Despite their efforts, and those of other staff and officers involved, the search was scaled back and subsequently ceased after no significant leads emerged. Anthony is white, 5ft 10ins, and is of medium build, with short, dark-brown hair, although he may now have longer hair or changed its colour and could also have a beard.
“He was last seen wearing blue jeans, a red and blue checked shirt, carrying a black satchel and may have been wearing a black New York Yankees baseball cap and beige jacket. Anyone with information should call Essex Police on 101, or contact missingpeople.org citing reference 12-001452.”
Don’t miss the latest news from around Scotland and beyond – Sign up to our daily newsletter here.