A life-long international friendship between two pen pals – who never actually met face to face – has sparked a unique donation to Strathcarron Hospice.
Bette (Elizabeth) Young and Margaret Wilson developed a pen pal friendship in 1948 that lasted a lifetime after Margaret’s class at primary school in New Zealand was each asked to fill an empty Griffin’s biscuit tin with non-perishable goods, a gift and a letter to be mailed to a school on the other side of the world.
Margaret’s box, which included a bar of honey and heather soap, was then sent with the class’s parcels to the other side of the world – arriving at Bette Young’s class in Wellshot Primary School, Glasgow.
The pair wrote to each other every month for almost 70 years sharing photos, cards and gifts for special occasions and in the latter years, phone calls.
Margaret moved from New Zealand to Canada in 1970, the letters continuing alongside memorable gifts sent by Bette including special glass animals made by Bette’s husband Tom (Master Glassblower Tom Young MBE), a tartan recipe book and a treasured copy of the book ‘The Swallow, The Owl and The Sandpiper’.
They shared the details of their lives and growing families, forming a special bond which lasted until 2017, when after an illness, sadly Bette died in Bridge of Allan at the age of 78, cared for by Strathcarron’s Hospice at Home team.
Margaret was keen not to lose her connection with Scotland and the close bond she had built up with the family, so continued to keep in touch with Bette’s husband Tom – the broad Scottish accent always making Margaret feel connected to Scotland in some way – until Tom also sadly died in 2023, looked after in his final days by Strathcarron’s Hospice at Home service.
Margaret, who lives in Bawlf, Alberta, decided to make a special quilted blanket in dedication to the memory of Tom and Bette and their lifelong friendship, gifting it to Strathcarron Hospice to be used to fundraise in their memory.
Margaret said: “In the early days it was so exciting to come home and Mom would say there’s a letter here for you from Scotland. How communication has changed since then! I have truly happy memories and I am thankful for the friendship we shared.
“I had remained deep in thought after Bette and then Tom’s passing, about not having been there for their services and for not ever having met them. I knit with love and I was hoping the Hospice could arrange a means of generating funds from it.
“I phoned Bette on her last birthday – Tom answered and told me how the Hospice had been so instrumental that day by helping them bring Bette down the stairs at home to celebrate.
“The quilt knits our friendship together across all those miles and years as a sign of lasting bonds which will never break. It is dedicated to the nurses at Strathcarron who cared for Bette and Tom in their final days and will probably be the last large blanket of this size I will ever make.
“The book The Swallow, The Owl and The Sandpiper’ was by far the most precious gift – it meant so much to both of us. We have used different writings from this book at funerals, solace for ourselves and soon realised that many friends and family members could well benefit from this book so I arranged for copies to be shipped from The Sandpiper Trust to gift to friends in their time of need if they are struggling.
“The kindness of Bette and Tom sending this book to me has been spread…truly a wonderful book that people can take comfort in.
“After Bette passed, Tom and I would chat on Messenger and phone calls.
“I felt blessed for being on his list of people to let know his journey of life was coming to the end.
“I do not have many regrets in life, but never meeting Bette and Tom is the only regret. Our lasting pen pal friendship, all starting over a bar of soap.”
Bette and Tom’s daughter Karen Somerville, said: “They had such a wonderful friendship despite never having met in person or even having a Zoom or Skype call. It was all over the phone or writing to each other. It was amazing.
“Margaret was so upset when my mum passed away and was so keen to keep that connection. When my dad got ill and then died, Margaret asked me to keep in touch with her – she said she could not face having that break in her life which had existed since she was a wee girl, so we keep in touch now.
“I am hoping to visit Canada in the future and visit her which would be really lovely.
“Margaret started making the blanket when my dad was ill and wanted to gift it to Strathcarron – a huge amount of care, love and memories are in the blanket. She just wants to help the place that so kindly looked after my mum and dad and get some comfort from it. Her one regret in life is never meeting my mum so I hope this brings her some peace.”
Karen added: “Strathcarron allowing my mum and dad to be at home in our darkest time and be there for us was so important as it was amongst their final wishes – all the staff are so special, the nurses who visited and the support staff on the end of the phone – it helped so much.
“Just having someone coming in to reassure you and make them comfortable in familiar surroundings with their family. Both my parents had the most excellent care from Strathcarron Nurses and all their wishes of passing at home and in comfort were met.”
The blanket is due to be raffled off at the Strathcarron Singers at their forthcoming event in the Dobbie Hall, Falkirk, Sunday, February 9 at 2.30pm.
To find out more about Scotland’s largest independent hospice, visit www.strathcarronhospice.net.