As Valentine’s Day looms closer and people prepare to be swarmed by couple’s posts on social media, many people are thinking about looking for love. However, with dating apps becoming more prevalent in finding romance, it can be tricky to know where to begin.
The day of love is something you cannot escape, as shops and online retailers are constantly advertising their best gift ideas or offers you don’t want to miss out on. If you have also been out of the dating sphere for a while, it can be nerve wracking to start up a conversation with someone you don’t fully know.
For those struggling in the love department, dating expert Paul C Brunson has shared his words of wisdom on how to find love. While he is best known for being a TV dating guru on Celebs Go Dating and Married at First Sight UK, he also shares his top romance tips with his followers on his Instagram.
On top of his long list of credentials, he also has all the information of dating apps as he is Tinder’s go-to expert. Paul spoke with our sister paper, the Mirror, about all things romance and gave his top tips on how to secure an all-important date for Valentine’s day.
What advice would you give to people who are looking for love?
Paul said: “When dating, the relationship you have with yourself is just as important as the one you build with someone else. Knowing and loving who you are and what you want is key to attracting the right partner.”
Research from Tinder is showing that 80 per cent of 18 to 25-year-olds say that their primary consideration when dating is to prioritise self-care. On top of this, 79 per cent of young people want a partner who values it too.
He added: “When you’re your best self, the love you want and deserve will follow. Dating is meant to be fun and exciting, so remember that every new connection offers an opportunity for self-discovery, a chance to embrace adventure, and maybe even find love.”
Do you think dating apps are a good way for people to meet these days?
“Absolutely. In fact, 53 per cent of under 30s are using dating apps. They have transformed how we meet, making it easier than ever to connect with people you might never have crossed paths with otherwise,” expresses the 50-year-old.
He wants people to use the apps with authenticity, kindness, and intention so it can be a useful tool for them to find genuine connections, whether that only be for the night or to continue into the future.
What kind of opener would you suggest for people to use on dating apps?
Paul explains: “Today’s 18-25 year olds, who now make up more than 50 per cent of Tinder’s membership base, are looking for authenticity. So the best openers are those that show genuine interest and spark a conversation.”
He suggests that a good place to start is making the first message personalised to the individual you are about to talk to. If you are unsure on where to start, you should look through the person’s profile to see if there is a shared interest, favourite food or holiday destination that could be used to break the ice.
One thing you can always fall back onto is humour. It is advised that the opener should be light and playful, and you shouldn’t worry if it isn’t perfect.
Paul adds: “It just needs to show that you’re interested and ready to engage. Sixty four per cent of young singles are comfortable with cringey/awkward situations if it’s in service of being genuine, so don’t stress about nailing the ideal first line, just focus on being yourself.
What dating etiquette should people make sure they follow?
Tinder’s Year in Swipe has reported that Brits consider communication, authenticity and emotional intelligence as the most important dating rules. The dating guru said: “Being upfront and honest is essential. If you’re interested, let them know and if you’re not, communicate that politely rather than ghosting.
“Timely replies are also important; no one likes waiting endlessly for a response. Emotional intelligence plays a big role here, so consider how your actions, like delayed replies or lack of clarity, might make the other person feel. Remember, be yourself, treat others with kindness, and approach dating with the same respect you’d hope to receive.”
Where would you suggest for a first date?
Paul suggested: “First dates are all about creating a comfortable space where you can genuinely connect. The key is choosing an activity that either reflects your personality or is a shared interest, and always pick a familiar, public location where you both feel at ease.”
Data from Tinder shows that the top date activities include pub quizzes, bowling and rave nights. This variety of ideas show that there is no ‘perfect’ first day, you just need to make sure it is an activity that both of you will enjoy.