With Valentine’s Day upon us, many are gearing up for romantic dates and trying to make the perfect first impression. But for one dater, a well-meaning night out turned into a hilarious disaster.
While the day that celebrates love is meant to be a special one, it unfortunately doesn’t always pan out that way. The same can be said for any time of year, as some dates can often result in horror stories that people struggle to shake off.
Taking to Reddit, one man decided to bare his soul on the r/AskReddit subreddit in response to the question: “What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on?”.
The user, posting under the handle u/Strict_Design_5306, explained how things began with great promise. He met a woman named Emily on a dating app, and after several exchanges of memes and playful banter, they decided to meet in person.
He picked what he thought was a “trendy lounge” downtown, a place recommended by a friend that was known for its good drinks and cool vibe.
However, upon entering the venue, things quickly went awry. As he recalled: “As soon as we walk in, I notice something’s off. It’s dimly lit, which I expected, but the ‘ambiance’ was a little… let’s just say, extra. There’s a lot of neon, a bit more red lighting than you’d typically find in a cocktail bar, and the music was—how do I put this—aggressively sexy.”
Despite his growing suspicions, he initially tried to stay cool, chalking it up to an unconventional vibe. But it didn’t take long for the situation to escalate. “Out of nowhere, a woman who is wearing significantly less clothing than anyone else in the room appears on a stage in front of us and starts… well, doing her thing.
“It takes me a moment to process what’s happening. Like, my brain is fighting to convince me that this is just some kind of modern art performance. Then it hits me. This is not a trendy lounge. This is a freaking strip club.”
Realising his blunder, he turned to Emily, only to be met with a look that could only be described as “shock, horror, and the realization that she’s on a date with possibly the dumbest man alive.” In a desperate attempt to make light of the situation, he blurted: “So, I guess I should’ve checked Yelp reviews, huh?”
However, Emily was not amused. “She doesn’t even laugh. Not a chuckle. She just stares at me like she’s trying to figure out if I’m a moron or a pervert,” he added.
Determined to salvage the situation, the user decided to order drinks and hoped the night would somehow return to normal. “By this point, I’m in full-blown panic mode, but for some reason, I think, ‘Maybe if we just sit here and chat like it’s a normal bar, everything will be fine.’ Spoiler: It was not fine,” he admitted.
Things took a turn for the worse when an overly friendly regular joined their table. “This guy, who clearly spends a lot of time here, decides to plop down at our table. He’s got a beer in one hand, and with the other, he starts giving me unsolicited advice about how to ‘treat a lady’ in a place like this,” he recalled. “I’m sitting there, trying not to cry-laugh, while Emily looks like she’s mentally writing a Yelp review titled ‘Worst Date Ever.’”
The user finally realised it was time to end the date. “I apologise profusely to Emily and suggest we get out of there and go literally anywhere else. She agrees—probably because she fears for her sanity at this point.”
The drive home was just as uncomfortable, marked by an “awkward silence,” and the next day, he received a text from Emily that read: “You seem nice, but I don’t think we’re looking for the same thing. Best of luck!” He concluded: “Which is dating app code for ‘Lose my number, you weirdo.’”
Reflecting on the disastrous evening, he shared his valuable lesson: “The moral of the story? Always, ALWAYS check Yelp reviews before picking a date spot.”
Fellow Reddit users were quick to comment on the dating debacle, with some feeling sorry for the guy. One user, JemAndTheBananagrams, wrote: “For what it’s worth, this was really funny to read, although I’m sure it was horrible to live through.”
Another user, I_hate_cats-, sympathised with the poster, adding: “Oof this was painful to read but at least you have a good sense of humour about it, and it’s a funny story.”
Another user made a light-hearted remark: “I was fully expecting ‘And that kids is how I met your mother’ at the end.,”
However, not all responses were as forgiving. A user couldn’t help but call out the poster’s mistake, saying, “There is no way that you are THAT dumb. Get a grip. That poor girl.”